


Seluna

by Orime



Series: Watcher Seluna [1]
Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: Angst, Consensual, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Non-Monogamy, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-15 09:57:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 42
Words: 29,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21251534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orime/pseuds/Orime
Summary: The adventures of my Watcher from Pillars of Eternity. She is a moon godlike and a priest of Eothas. Throughout the course of the story, she grapples with her sanity, her faith, and the fate of her soul.





	1. Godlike

She had been born different, to say the least. Her eyes shone with a white glow, and her skin was a palette of dusky purples and blues swirled with scatterings of soft stars. The constellations twinkling across her body didn't match any charts she'd ever seen, but they were hers. Her hair was a wispy silver-white, and sometimes moved of its own accord to the motion of its own secret breezes. But most remarkable of all was the pearly white crescent moon rising out of her forehead, and the pair of horns that framed it.

Godlike, they called those like her. For how else could such an unusual form be born to two ordinary humans, than by intervention of the Gods themselves. She'd never met another like herself, but she'd heard tales of ones with fire for hair, or plants sprouting from their skin.

Seluna had grown up wondering which God had marked her so, and to what purpose. Usually one would expect someone adorned with lunar imagery to be touched by Ondra, Goddess of tides and forgotten things. But her parents had insisted otherwise.

They both looked after a beautiful little church built high upon a steep hill, its stained glass windows glowing through the Aedyran jungle greenery and shining across the nearby river estuary. A small town had sprung up around the site, and its people had been happily living there for centuries.

The church that caught the light no matter where the sun was in the sky was of course built to honour Eothas, the God of light and rebirth. Throughout their pregnancy, Seluna's parents had frequently prayed for their child to be blessed by Him. And just like the moon glows with Eothas' light, so too did Seluna glow with Eothas' love.

Her parents had taught her how to honour Eothas in daily rituals, and she gladly did what she could to share her light with the community; getting to know each face, listening to worries when required, and offering guidance when requested. Sometimes she also had the pleasure of meeting new faces during occasional pilgrimages to the church.

But in recent years, more and more troubling stories had been coming from the east, of a Readceran man who claimed to have been chosen by Eothas to lead a divine war against his Dyrwoodan neighbours. Of the man's eventual defeat at Halgot Citadel, and where that had left relations between the two now former Aedyran colonies. And then of plagues and curses sweeping through Dyrwoodan villages and towns. Some said that Eothas Himself had been inhabiting Waidwen when he died, and so had died Himself. And so they claimed that Dyrwood's current misfortunes were punishment for killing a God. Each rumour reaching them was more far-fetched and concerning than the last, and brought with it difficult conversations and questions from the pilgrims looking to make sense of it all.

"I heard Eothas died," said one such man, watching Seluna carefully.

"There is much about the Gods we do not and cannot know. Can a God be killed? I wouldn't believe it possible." She had had this conversation many times before.

"Do you believe that Eothas marched on the Dyrwood, slaughtering hundreds?" he pressed, unsatisfied.

"I do not."

"Awful lot of people saying he did." The sharpness of his tone surprised her.

She paused. "Eothas is God of light, love, rebirth, and forgiveness. There is no part of Him that would condone or desire such a thing."

The man nodded slowly. Perhaps that was what he had been needing to hear. "Thank you, sister. I'll think on what you've said."

She smiled, acknowledging his cue to end the conversation. "If you need anything at all, we would be glad to provide it. There are beds and hot meals available at Tena's place, and I hope you will join us for the evening ceremony," she gestured up towards the church. "Perhaps you will find more answers there."


	2. Firelight

She stopped in at Aldgrin's house on her way up to the church, as had become her routine. The elderly man had been struggling with bouts of terror. Lately he'd begun to fear leaving his home at all in the worry that one would strike while he was out, but that only seemed to be making them worse.

She knocked on the door frame.

"That Seluna?" his husband, Cenric yelled from within. "Come on in, he's up to his nonsense again."

She entered their cosy home, where Cenric was stood over his husband trying to yank him up out of his chair by the arms. "Come on you big lump, you don't want to make the girl late for her duties."

"It's no problem," she reassured. "My folks have been doing this since well before I was born, they can handle the ceremony well enough on their own if needs be." She flashed a quick smile at Aldgrin, but he was staring fixedly ahead and grinding his teeth.

"Ach, don't coddle him lass. He doesn't need any more excuses to stay on his arse any longer than he already has."

Cenric clearly loved his husband, but his particular brand of tough love rarely helped when he was struggling. "Why don't you go on ahead?" she suggested. "I'll sit with him for a bit and then walk up with him if he's feeling up to it. And if you could let my father know that I may be late or absent, that would be a big help."

Cenric sighed, then nodded and grabbed a hat from off the back of his chair. "Don't be letting him have his way though! He does better when he gets out from time to time."

"I hear you!" Seluna waved the man off and watched him start making his way up the hill. Then she turned and knelt beside Aldgrin's seat. "He doesn't go easy on you, does he?" she joked.

Aldgrin snorted in agreement. His breaths were coming and going in short bursts. She began to lengthen her own breaths, exaggerating them slightly and leaving a pause between each one as a pattern for him to follow. He shifted a hand towards her and she began patting the back of it firmly and to a steady beat. Six beats inhale. Two beats pause. Eight beats exhale. Repeat.

They breathed together for a few minutes, and then she saw his muscles begin to release the tension they had been holding.

"Okay. It's passed," he said.

She withdrew her hand and they chatted for a bit, catching up on the events of the day. His symptoms had struck when Cenric had started trying to get him ready to leave again. She wondered if they might be able to work out a gentler routine for that going forward.

"You wanting to catch the end of the ceremony? Or are we staying here?" she asked.

"I don't like missing it, but I don't feel up to it." He seemed to deflate into his chair.

"Lucky for you you've got your own personal priest tonight! Where are your candles?"

"There's one by the window. Matches are in the drawer there," he pointed.

She lit the candle and set it on a table she'd repositioned into the centre of the room. She stood before it and spoke a quick prayer for Aldgrin asking for peace, health and his husband's patience, and then she began to sing one of the simpler hymns. Aldgrin gradually joined her with a shy voice and they sang together, thanking Eothas for the day's light and looking towards the new day waiting to dawn.

Cenric came clattering back into the house, interrupting them. "Seluna lass, you've got to hide. Or run. There's a group of thugs, they've..." he was shaking and wide eyed. Seluna had never seen the man so rattled.

"What's going on?" she asked calmly.

"A group of daft young boys with chips on their shoulders, they're kicking off in the church. I don't know who they are, never seen them before. But they were shouting about you."

Perhaps the pilgrim she had spoken to earlier. She'd heard talk of purges of Eothasian followers and practices in response to the growing hysteria in the Dyrwood, but that was far across the sea. Nothing like that had been happening here.

Seluna made for the door. "I should go and help. Maybe I can calm them down." 

Cenric grabbed her arm as she passed, holding her in place. "Seluna, they reek of booze and... they've already killed someone. You need to hide. I'm not asking you, I'm telling you."

She stopped, eyes flickering between Cenric's grim frown and Aldgrin's wide eyes, trying to make sense of what she'd just heard. "They... what? Who-"

"Listen to me lass. Away and hide in the trees and we'll come and get you when they're away. Take my cloak to hide your shiny bits. We'll get you by the big gnarled bastard the kids like to climb on, okay?"

"But-"

Cenric scowled and seemed to swell to twice his usual height. "I told you, I'm not asking. Get to the trees. Stay there." He threw the cloak over her head and pushed her out the door.

She watched from the branches of the old gnarled tree as the church was set ablaze. The town erupted into chaos around it. Her fingers ached from how tightly she clutched at the branches before her, but she couldn't move. Tears tumbled down her cheeks, stinging her eyes as they emerged, but she couldn't look away. She couldn't look away.


	3. The Caravan

The voyage across the sea had been a long and unforgiving one, but Seluna had found her way to joining a caravan group bound for the Dyrwoodan town of Gilded Vale, a place that promised a home and a new start for anyone willing to help return the region to its former prosperity. It had made sense to her to look to the east for her new start, where Eothas' light emerged each day before beginning its journey across the sky.

The end of her own long journey was within sight at last. But as a fever began to burn through her body, Seluna could only conclude that Magran wished for her to complete one last trial before she could rest. The God of flames and transformation through suffering was rarely far from her thoughts these days, after the burning of her church and family and indeed the role that Magran was said to have played in the Saints War; the very event that had incited so much of the madness roiling across the continents.

With a body that rarely reacted to temperature changes within or without, the prickling fatigue that surged through her was a foreign and deeply unpleasant experience. It left her shivering and weak, and her stars twinkled through a thin sheen of sweat. The caravan master had taken one look at her and ordered everyone to halt for the night.

"Touch of the Rumbling Rot, could be," he said. "There's a stinging beetle 'round here, carries it. You'll be fine once it passes your innards. 'Less you don't drink water, course, which case you'll be dead in a day."

He sent people out to gather that water for her, after an announcement that the surrounding ruins were sacred to the natives and that he would not be held responsible for what they might do to anyone caught trespassing.

Seluna gratefully sat herself down, resting her back against an overturned tree and conserving her dwindling strength. It wasn't long before her eyelids began to droop.

\---

She was startled back awake by the screaming. Her stomach shrivelled in on itself as she registered the strange kith in animal skins slaughtering everyone. One man turned and grinned at her, blade in hand.

A blonde haired woman leapt over the fallen tree to meet him, driving her sword deep into his belly. Through trembling fingers, Seluna watched her make short work of the other invaders too.

She scrambled to her feet, trying not to see the corpses sprawled all around her. Her saviour strode over to where the caravan master had been cut down, her fists clenched. "Dead. Great," she said. "Well this is just perfect."

"I would have joined him if not for you. Thank you..."

"Calisca." She spat on the ground. "If I hadn't been getting your dumb water, maybe I could've done more. Or maybe I'd be dead too. Load of shit either way."

The wind began to stir. It tugged at their clothes and quickly rose to a shrill crescendo. One attacker barely still clinging to life began to chuckle weakly from the ground. "The Gods are just," he rasped.

Calisca's face went slack. She turned and bolted. The change in her was so abrupt that Seluna knew her very life depended on doing the same. So she followed without hesitation, as they sped straight into the ruins they had been warned not to disturb.


	4. Unnatural Lights

Seluna fell to the ground once they had made it far enough inside to escape from the awful howling of the strange storm that had gathered, her body unable to give any more. She could hear trees and stonework being uprooted and flung around, and then the final, terrible crash of the tunnel they had just entered by completely caving in. It was by Eothas' mercy that they had been able to make it in in time, and she supposed that He must have a different exit planned for them. Sweat dripped down her face, water that she couldn't afford to be losing. She groaned feebly as a fit of shaking took her.

Calisca lit a torch and placed it down on the stone floor. Then she knelt beside Seluna and pulled a waterskin from her belt. "It's a good thing I happened to be the one fetching your crap. Here, drink."

Seluna allowed herself to be pulled up and sat against a wall, Calisca's hands steadying her own as she took the skin and brought it to her mouth. She gulped the contents down gratefully, then hummed for Calisca to pull the skin away.

"Thank you," she croaked, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "Sorry I took so much, it may be all we have for a while."

"Well you don't drink your fill, there's no maybes about your survival. Speaking of, we should get out of this damn hole."

They continued carefully down the ancient hallway, each footstep echoing beyond them despite their best efforts. Tendrils of adra had climbed up some of the walls like some kind of creeping plant. It was beautiful to look at, though mildly unsettling somehow. Eventually Calisca lifted her nose and took some deep sniffs. "Think we're close to a way out."

She extinguished the torch as they approached another doorway like the one they had entered by. Peeking outside, she silently motioned for Seluna to get down.

Slowly, they crept outside and along to the edge of where the stone dropped away into a courtyard amongst the ruins. The space was dominated by a great structure of adra and stone, intricate and deliberate in its design. And at the base of this structure were a group of robed kith, one of which wore an elaborate winged mask. They seemed to be in the middle of some kind of ceremony, perhaps to do with the statue of a man before them, its arms raised as if to shield itself from something. It was hard to make out what they were saying.

Then the adra structure sprang to life, the parts spinning around each other and generating some kind of light that twisted around and around and then up into the evening sky. The masked man walked deliberately away as the others began screaming and writhing in obvious agony. More lights, somehow every colour at once, were drawn from their twitching bodies and sucked towards the larger stream spiraling around the machine. The world became unnaturally still for a short fragment of time, and then exploded with light and sound, throwing Seluna back like a strip of cloth snatched by the wind. Pain blossomed across her skull as it made contact with the ground ahead of her body, and then everything turned mercifully black.


	5. Awakened

Seluna's eyes flickered open. She couldn't move. A gentle breeze caressed her face, and birdsong echoed peacefully all around her. She was lying on the ground. A finger twitched.

The sun lazily continued its passage across the sky as she lay there, her body seemingly content to do nothing but breathe for a while. Gradually, the pain of her head injury seeped back into her consciousness, as well as the uncomfortable knotting and cramping of her bowels. And then came the whispers and shadows that floated at the very edges of her senses. The more she tried to focus on them, the further away they drifted. But then just as she gave up trying to make sense of them, they'd begin closing in around her again.

The sun began to set. She'd had no choice but to empty her bowels where she lay, hoping that the caravan master had been right, and that the sickness had now left her.

Clumsily, she sent an arm exploring the space beside her and came upon a body. It was still and unyielding. Patting her way down the torso, she exhaled with relief as her hand came to rest on the waterskin hanging from the belt. It took some time for her sluggish fingers to free the skin, but she managed to drag it across the ground and up her own body, pulling the stopper out with her teeth. As carefully as she could, she trickled some of the sweet life-saving elixir into her mouth. The strain of holding the skin up with her arms was unbearable, but she wanted to live. Eventually it ran dry, and she allowed it to flop to the ground beside her while she caught her breath.

Slowly, carefully, she began rolling herself onto her side, her head lurching painfully with even the tiniest of movements. Gathering her arms beneath her, she pushed herself up to sitting. Then, after coming to accept that her head was not going to stop swimming any time soon, she slowly began to move.

First she removed her soiled trousers, wiping herself down as much as she could with the cleaner fabric of the leg. Then she muttered a soft prayer and began removing Calisca's trousers. She wouldn't be needing them anymore. It seemed that Seluna had been the only one to survive the strange blast.

She gingerly made her way down the steps towards the structure that had caused so much chaos. A little bit of light still skittered across its surface, striking against the gathering dusk. But other than that, the thing sat motionless. The robed people she had heard screaming had changed to match the statue she had noticed before, who she now understood was no statue at all, but the ashen husk of another who had once lived and breathed. As she reached out to touch it, the whole thing collapsed into a pile of dust, quickly dispersed by the breeze. She followed the trajectory of the scatterings as they drifted over a wooden table to her left. But then she blinked and the table was gone.

_My mind has been damaged._

She walked towards the spot where the table had been, when it suddenly burst back into existence, a person strapped atop it, naked and covered in horrific injuries. She covered her mouth and took a few hasty steps back, and the table vanished once again.

A fire sprang to life beside her, filling her ears with the screams of the poor soul tied to the burning stake within. She swiftly turned her back on the scene and strode away, only slowing when the sounds had faded from existence once more.

_I am going mad._


	6. A Fresh Start

By what could be nothing other than Eothas' love, Seluna had been able to find the path and continue on foot towards Gilded Vale, shuffling forwards through the night and then into the next morning. The light of dawn revealed the little town before her, and she prayed that Eothas would keep Magran and her trials at bay long enough for her to make it the rest of the way.

She approached the inn on the outskirts of town just as a fight looked to be kicking off, the rising voices stabbing knives into her forehead. She willed herself towards them, hoping they would let her pass. A human loomed over an elf, glowering down at him. They were all but blocking the entrance with their feud. She sank to her knees, unable to summon the strength to face this last obstacle between herself and a real bed. She might have wept if she'd had the energy.

Head slumped forward, a shadow was cast over her as someone moved close.

"What's this then?" they asked, prodding her shoulder roughly.

"Please, I need help," she voiced as clearly as she was able.

"You some kind of performer freak?"

"I am godlike. Human born. Please, help me."

"We don't need no more Gods meddlin' round here."

The world around her faded to darkness once more.

\---

She awoke. And she awoke in a bed, of all things. She had made it after all. She twisted her head to look around the room, and her eyes quickly met those of the man sitting in the corner, a large book open on his lap. They both froze.

She scrambled backwards, sitting up against the headboard and holding the blanket close to her chest. Her head railed in protest.

"Please!" the elf began, raising his palms but otherwise remaining still. "It's alright!"

"Where am I?"

"You are in a room at the Black Hound Inn in Gilded Vale. You lost consciousness just outside." His accent was Aedyran. Home.

She looked around the room slowly. "I remember... you were arguing with someone."

His lips pursed. "I should prefer to say that he was arguing with me, but yes. Your arrival was timely."

"What happened to the others?"

"They were quick enough to disperse when the thought that they might be held responsible for the woman falling unconscious at their feet crossed their minds."

"But you stayed?"

He coughed nervously. "As I said, your arrival was timely. I felt that I owed you this much gratitude at least. I also summoned someone to check you over. They cleaned and dressed the wound at the back of your head. At least, they did the best they could. Your form is a bit... unusual, forgive me for saying."

"Most things touched by Gods are," she said, reaching to explore the stitches in the back of her head with her fingers and then wincing when she found them.

"Quite. I can't say I've ever seen someone with pearlescent blood before."

"Or a moon on their head, I imagine." Seluna gave a small smile.

"As you say. Um... you were also bathed, which I was not present for, of course! And, bread and water have been left on the bedstand there. I suspected you might be needing it."

Her attention now made aware of its presence, the bread seemed to make its way into her mouth of its own accord.

"Slowly! Um... slowly is better."

She attempted to obey, but she was at the mercy of her ravenous stomach. And she would never take water for granted again, as long as she lived.

"So... ah, may I ask what happened?"

The bread consumed, she gently shuffled back to lying down. She felt so weak.

"We were attacked near some ruins, and then strange winds blew." Her eyes closed. "Strange winds from strange machines."

"You survived a bîaŵac?" The man's voice was sharp with shock.

"What's that?"

"An unexplained phenomenon said to occur near Engwithan ruins. The locals say it's a spirit wind of some kind, and that it rends soul from flesh."

The air became thinner. She swallowed and opened her eyes. "I've been seeing... things. I had wondered about my mind, but... Do you think my soul could be damaged?"

"I couldn't say. And I highly doubt you'll find much of help here, I'm afraid. With the hollowborn crisis, people are... on edge. I'd recommend keeping your, ah, situation, quiet."

"What's your name?" she asked through a stifled yawn as a wave of fatigue slammed through her, pushing the anxiety away once more.

"Ah, my apologies - Aloth Corfiser, at your service."

"Very fine service too." Her eyelids closed. It was a struggle to continue forming thoughts, much less words. "Seluna. My name. I need... I'm going to..."

Her body fell limp once more.

She drifted in and out of dreams that were strange and somehow urgent. She saw the man with the headdress from before give sermons in ancient buildings, clean and bright as the day they'd been built. The scenes were familiar and yet not, and she was certain that she wanted to ask something important of the man. But the dreams never seemed to take her far enough along their insistent stories for her to learn what it was that twisted her stomach into such fearful knots.

She saw a large old tree, leafless and still, branches full of corpses swinging from ropes like morbid decorations. One of the bodies, a partially decomposed dwarven woman, sharpened into focus. Hollow eyes locked onto her, and the dream forced her to linger right in front of that gaze and the stench of death. The dead lips stirred, and exhaled the word "Watcher".

She saw the morning light on the ceiling of the room, and her hands clenched the bedsheets in an effort to focus some of the tension buzzing around her body into something simpler. The sheets clung to her as she moved, soaked through with sweat. She climbed out of the bed and wiped herself down with trembling hands. Aloth was curled on his side on a bedroll on the floor.

Moving to the window, she opened it to get some fresh air and bask in the comfort of the morning sun and then gasped when she saw the tree from her dreams sitting there, its macabre ornaments swaying.

"Is everything alright?" The elf joined her at the window, rubbing at his eyes.

"That tree!"

"Yes, cheerful, isn't it?"

"No, I had a dream about it just now! Come on!" She exited the room, Aloth rushing to catch up.


	7. Watcher

She came to a stop before the tree, the pause in momentum allowing her feeble state to catch back up with her. Her balance faltered, but then someone grabbed her by the elbow, steadying her.

"You alright?" asked the blonde haired man that was now holding her upright. "You've, uh... got a moon. On your head. And no shoes."

She grabbed onto the man's arms, steadying herself and waiting for the dizziness to pass. His face was too close so she turned her head, her vision swinging straight to the corpse of the dwarven woman, exactly as she had seen it in her dreams.

At that moment, everything else began to fade from view and Seluna wondered if she was about to faint after all. Then the woman turned to look at her.

\---

Reality slowly washed back over her with the buzzing of flies and creaking of rope. A conversation took shape in her mind, a communion she'd just had with the corpse somehow. Her eyes were dry. She forced them to close and then open again, the movement feeling clunky and alien. And then she became aware of her fingers still clenched stiffly into the man's arm. Aloth stood beside him, and both were watching her with concern.

"Are you alright?" Aloth asked. "You seemed... lost just now."

Was she alright? She wasn't sure. But she did at least have a word for what she was now. "I'm a Watcher." A soul-seer.

His eyebrows shot up. "That's, ah..."

"Your friend brought your shoes," the man holding her said. "You should put them on. Come on, this way."

He guided her over to a low wall she could perch on, carefully helping to transfer her weight and then massaging his arm as soon as she had released it.

"Sorry about that," she said to both of them. "I'm having a strange day. Couple of days, I guess."

"I got that impression," the man winked. "What brings you folks to Gilded Vale?"

"Looking for a new home," Seluna said.

"Ah, then you might want to look elsewhere, friend. Lord Raedric isn't as welcoming as his latest scheme makes him out to be. And, no offense, if you stay you'll be swinging from that tree too before long."

She shifted away from him uneasily. "Why?"

"Cause you're not keeping your head down."

"I've committed no crime!"

"Won't matter." He introduced himself as Edér and went on to explain the town's tensions in further detail, that they were looking for someone to blame for the hollowborn crisis - a curse that left babies born without souls - and getting increasingly desperate. That the local lord wasn't doing much to discourage the mobs from passing judgement as they pleased, and was indeed actively demonising certain people and activities, such as worship of Eothas.

Seluna's hand instinctively moved to touch the symbol of the Dawnstars she always wore around her neck, only to notice that it was no longer there.

"My necklace! Where is my necklace?" she asked Aloth, trying not to panic.

"I don't recall seeing one," he answered. "Perhaps we should ask the innkeep, or those who bathed and healed you."

"What kind of necklace was it?" Edér asked, watching her very carefully. He knew.

She should probably lie, just to keep herself safe. But a priest of Eothas does not lie. "A symbol of the Dawnstars," she admitted.

Edér exhaled slowly. "Yeah, that would've been taken off you and destroyed. Word will be on its way to Raedric, if it's not there already. It's not safe for you to stay here."

"Are you going to hang me?" she asked.

"Ha, not me, no. But others'd be only too happy to. I'll be up there before long too." He sighed. "See that building? Used to be a pretty temple for old Eothas. Maybe the biggest one in the Dyrwood."

It was now a crumbled ruin, just like the one she'd left behind in Aedyr. "I want to see it," she said.

"I meant more to bring your attention to the danger you're in here," Edér protested.

"Just a quick look, then I'll leave." Though Gods only knew how she'd have the strength to do that, and where she was even going to go. She carefully rose from the wall, giving her body a moment to adjust this time. Edér hovered nearby, ready to steady her if needed. She was relieved when the two men followed her to the ruins without further protest.


	8. The Ruined Temple

Descending into the temple's rubble-strewn lower floors, they found a man inside the first chamber, slumped against a wall and clutching at a bloodied arm.

She immediately knelt down to examine the man's wounds. Deep and painful, but not life threatening. She centred herself and brought her hand up to her symbol, her grief at its loss piercing through her anew as her hand met with nothing. Her fist clenched around the fabric of her tunic instead, remembering how the shape should have felt, trusting that it would still work because she needed it to work.

She reached her other hand towards the man, pausing as he shrank away from her. "You're alright. I can help," she soothed.

He stilled, but continued to eye her warily. Her hand continued on its journey and rested gently just above the ruined flesh. She dove into her love for this man, a fellow kith making his way through the world, as flawed and as perfect as she was. Feeling pain just as she did. She could soothe that pain.

Her hand began to glow with a soft white light, and she slowly traced her fingertips down across the wounded area. The bleeding slowed and then stopped, each cut sealed with a thin layer of new flesh ready to grow and become whole once more in its own time.

Her gaze rose to met the man's stunned stare. "The Shining God lives," she smiled. His eyes became moist with emotion, and he looked away.

"What, uh, happened here?" Edér asked the man, struggling to keep his wide eyed glances away from her.

The man cleared his throat and tried to arrange his features into something more stoic. "Place isn't so empty as I thought."

"What's your name? What were you trying to do?" Seluna asked gently.

"Wirtan, uh... The priests here, they refused to leave, even when Raedric came... Chopped down in their god's house, not my god mind, but it doesn't sit right with me. I thought... I hoped I might find their remains, give them a proper burial. Before Raedric's men come back and nobody can get near again. Just wanted to do some good."

"I wanna help out," Edér said, swallowing hard.

"I do too," Seluna responded.

Wirtan closed his eyes and allowed his head to fall back against the wall. "Then by the flame, I owe you a good turn. But the creatures..." His eyes opened again.

"I got it," Edér said, unsheathing a sword.

"I'd be happy to lend my services and training as a wizard to this endeavour too, should you require it," Aloth added.

"Then, check the lower floor. They should be there. All sorts of secret chambers down there, mind. Keep an eye out. And... take care."

\---

Edér was still watching her wide-eyed as they continued on through dusty stone rooms. She smiled at him, and he coughed and glanced away.

"So... you're a priest? Of Eothas?" he asked.

"Yes."

"And you healed that guy."

"Yes."

"Do that often?"

"Not often, no. Just when it's needed."

"Huh."

Then he was silent for a while, mulling something over.

Seluna's attention drifted from him and was caught by motes of dust swirling in the glow cast by a nearby light crystal. She could almost make out a face in the scatterings, and then she was running, down stairs and into darkness, afraid.

She blinked, seeing the light crystal before her once more. Edér was holding her by the elbow again. "This a hobby of yours?" he asked, letting her go.

"Only very recently. I just saw flashes of something." She frowned, trying to make sense of it.

"A Watcher ability?" Aloth asked.

"Perhaps."

They continued in their descent, pausing every so often as more visions caught her in their grip, or for the men to scare off the occasional spider or skuldr. She began to realise that she was seeing glimpses of memory of the people that had been here. Their fear, and their rush to hide below in a secret vault she now knew exactly how to find. She saw Wirtan shepherding people down, promising to come back and let them out once the danger had passed. Dread grew in her stomach like a black pit.


	9. Faith and Forgiveness

The men were staggered back by the smell coming from the room as the vault opened, but Seluna couldn't notice anything but the little soul-light trembling on the floor.

"Oh!" she sighed, "how long have you been down here?" She bent down and reached out towards it as though it were a lost kitten.

It had no form for her to grasp, but the soul flowed into the space between her hands and she straightened, cradling it to her chest.

This time she was ready to yield control of her senses, allowing the soul to share its last, unsure if the time had spanned days, months or years. She felt the darkness pressing against her eyes, stripping away all memory of light and colour. She felt the hunger gnawing in her belly and heard the quiet sobs and tearing of flesh as her companions were driven to sate that gnawing the only way they could. She waited for the light of a dawn that would never come.

"It's time to pass on," she told the soul. "Eothas is there waiting with loving arms. Take the rest you deserve so much."

There was not a word in any language to describe the depth of emotion the soul shared with her in that moment. The anguish, the fear, the confusion. The absolute heart break.

"Rest," she soothed, almost brushing the soul away with her senses and nudging it onwards. She felt the presence recede as the Wheel took it, and then she returned to the room once more.

She wiped her tears from her face and turned to the men watching her silently. "Everyone's in here. Please be as gentle as you can."

They gathered the bones and their still decomposing attachments in silence, gently placing each piece in the sack. Then Edér scooped everything up with the care of one lifting a baby and they solemnly made their way back to the surface. He gestured for them to take a different route as they approached the exit. "Wanna check something," was all he said.

He led them into a room filled with candles, still bathing the metal of Eothas' symbol on the floor with their warm orange glow. Her heart swelled at the sight, thankful for the comfort.

"Not bad for a dead God," Edér shook his head slowly, eyes fixed on the display. "We used this place for a kind of coming of age ceremony. Best day of my life."

Seluna knelt down before the candles to pray.

Edér yelled, grabbing her arm and tugging her back up to her feet. "We don't... we don't do that here. Makes people angry."

"Praying?" she asked, dumbfounded.

"No, not that. The kneeling part," he said, lowering his voice towards the end as though uncomfortable to even say the word.

"Sorry, I didn't know."

He nodded stiffly, and released her arm.

She turned back to the candles and clasped her hands together. Her legs quivered briefly as she fought the instinct to kneel again, but she remained upright and tried to ignore how wrong it felt. Eothas would understand.

"I will tell Wirtan to bury these remains of Your Faithful somewhere Your Light can always reach them. I know that You already will but, please, shower them with every kindness You can and guide them to a life of comfort and joy. They endured so much for You. For us all."

After a moment of silent contemplation, she gestured for the group to continue on. She had to speak with Wirtan.

___

The man honestly confessed his part in the priests' deaths when confronted. Raedric had locked down the temple after his visit, and Wirtan hadn't found a safe opportunity to return until now. Edér was furious when he heard, but Seluna could see how heavily regret weighed upon the man. She asked him to take the bodies and bury them on the sunniest hill he could find, and then to do his best to live a life that honored the ones lost. Then she muttered a quick prayer for him and they left him weeping on the stone floor.

Then as promised, Seluna made to leave Gilded Vale behind. Eothas rewarded her for her faithful service by inspiring the two men to travel with her, neither seeming comfortable to stay a moment longer in the miserable, dangerous town. They separated to collect their things, and then reunited with Edér at the outskirts to see that he had donned a cape bearing Eothas' symbol. Her spirits rose to see it.

"So, where we headed Watcher?" he asked, winking at her astonished smile.

"I think I need to talk to Maerwald," she answered, not remembering if she'd heard that name in a dream or during her confused interaction with the dead dwarf.

"Old Maerwald, eh? At the old keep. He's a Watcher too I heard. Known for helping people." He nodded as he spoke, slowly at first but then gaining speed and conviction. "A man such as that... there'd be things I'd wanna ask him. Alright, I'm on board!"

And so the three of them left the mournful town behind. It had been a harrowing experience, but an enlightening one. And Seluna was filled with gratitude that her first efforts to spread Eothas' light in this battered land had been met with such positive results. Rocky and treacherous as it was, she knew she was on her path.


	10. New Friends

"So why'd a devout Eothasian like yourself decide to come to the Dyrwood? After what we did, I mean," Edér asked as they travelled.

"What _do_ you mean?"

"Thought you might have heard about us blowing up your God, is all."

This again. "I won't pretend to know exactly what went on in the Saint's War, but I know that your people were invaded and that you were defending your homes. I know that none of that sounds like Eothas. And I know that the sun still rises every morning. Whatever happened, Eothas isn't dead."

Edér's jaw clenched and his eyes roamed sightlessly as he contemplated that.

"And I left home because people who were angry about that War burned down my church."

"This nonsense is happening over in Aedyr too? I'm sorry."

"I don't know how widespread it actually is, but there's clearly still a lot of pain and anger lingering from the whole thing. It made sense to come here and see if there was anything I could do to soothe that. Eothas saved me for a reason. I have to try and live a life worthy of that."

Edér shook his head. "You're crazy if you think there's going to be any minds changing at this point. We Dyrwoodans are nothing if not stubborn."

"Maybe so, but I have to try."

He smiled. "Well, I'm glad you are. Anyway, Dyrwood's weather's pretty miserable compared to Aedyr's, isn't it? You two coping?"

"I'll manage," Aloth said, drawing his cloak closer to him. "Though I must say I've had my fill of these grey skies."

"I do miss the sun," Seluna nodded. "But the air's nice here. Not too humid, not too dry."

"That's true, I suppose," Aloth mused.

"You warm enough?" Edér asked, directing an exaggerated gaze at the cloak billowing out loosely behind her.

"Another quirk of my body," she explained. "I don't really feel temperature. I always seem to be running a little on the cold side, no matter what environment I'm in."

"Always feeling cold but not being able to do anything about it. That sounds rough."

"Oh, I don't mean that I'm experiencing coldness. I just mean that people tell me that I feel cold, to them."

"Oh!" Edér's eyebrows raised. "Can I..."

"Sure," she said, holding out a hand towards him.

He exhaled in amusement when his hand closed around hers. "You weren't lying! Cold's not the word I'd use, maybe closer to cool? Chilled? Like a stone in the shade. But that's really something." He let go but ran a finger over some of her stars before withdrawing. "They always shining like that?"

She nodded.

He continued to bombard her with questions for the rest of the day. What colour was her tongue? Was there no red anywhere on her body? What colour was her blood then? Did she need to eat food? What was her moon made of? Could he touch that too? If she didn't feel heat could she put her hand through a flame? Did she sweat? Did her glowing eyes help her to see in the dark?

She enjoyed his enthusiastic conversation, even if he sometimes shocked her with his lack of tact. Aloth seemed to prefer following along in silence for the most part. She had wondered if the man was lost in his own thoughts, but then she had noticed him wincing at some of Edér's more personal questions.

They lay out their bedrolls by the road each night and kept watch in shifts. Seluna rarely slept through her designated rest time. Nightmares seemed to plague her from the moment she closed her eyes. She saw bloody gashes in flesh, fingers with the nails removed, lipless mouths screaming. She slept in fits and starts, continually shunted back to the waking world when the images got too distressing to bear. The first night or so had merely been annoying. But as this went on and her body cried out for rest, Seluna began to worry about how sustainable her situation really was.

She began losing track of things in the middle of conversations, eventually withdrawing into silence. Her head hurt and her eyes didn't seem to want to focus on anything. An all-encompassing nausea seemed to fill her entire body, never quite making good on its threat to evacuate her innards but removing any desire she might have had to eat. Eventually she just shook her head every time the men offered her anything. They had stopped including her in the watch rotas, but that just meant more time wrestling with sleep that never came. She began to dread nightfall, and that dread only became another barrier to settling down. She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep going like this.

[Answers to Edér's questions - silvery blue, no, pearly white, yes, bone or something similar, yes, she would still feel the pain even if she didn't feel the heat, yes, no.]


	11. Breaking Point

_Just one step. Just one step more. One step. Another. I can do this. I can-_

Her foot struck the ground at an awkward angle, buckling her ankle briefly. It wasn't painful, but it was enough. Her eyes filled with tears and she dropped to the ground, defeated.

Her companions were quick to her side, Edér crouching beside her and roughly patting her back. "Wanna stop for a bit?"

"I'm sorry," she sobbed through heavy hands. Heavy eyes. Heavy everything. "I can't do this. I just want... I just want to sleep. Please, make me sleep."

She clutched at Aloth's legs, certain that he must have some spell scribbled somewhere in his grimoire that could force the wakefulness from her.

He gently disentangled himself from her grasping hands and shuffled away, not meeting her gaze.

"Please," she repeated, turning to Edér. "Something. Anything. I can't do this anymore."

Edér sighed. "Don't know if it'll work, but, I might have a trick up my sleeve."

She gratefully pulled his sword from his belt and placed it into his hands, kneeling before him and resting the pommel against her crown. A swift crack of that would put her out cold.

"What're you..? No, put that down." He twisted the sword gently from her grasp. "Lie down, Gaun's sake."

She obediently crumpled to the side, wondering if she was ever going to have the strength to get back up again.

Edér set himself down beside her and scooped her up, resting her head in his lap. Seluna held her breath, wondering what he was doing when he began to trace his fingertips across her forehead and down the sides of her face. Her whole body erupted in tingles and she let out her breath as a startled noise.

"Just close your eyes for a bit. See what happens."

She did, and the tingles coursing through her began to settle into something that just felt... nice. Edér continued gently stroking and pressing - her face, her scalp, her ears, her neck. She hadn't thought it possible for her body to feel any heavier, but now she seemed in danger of sinking right into the ground. And slowly, mercifully, her mind began to sink with her.

"Don't laugh, but, was remembering a time I was younger," Edér murmured. "I'd caught something off the other kids, was feverish, nasty stuff, and my mom just sat with me like this. Helped me through it, you know? Maybe it can help you too."

A mother. Yes. That was something she sorely needed right now. Edér's calloused farm hands hardly felt mother-like, but maybe this was enough. To have someone who cared enough to comfort her and tell her everything was going to be okay. The last of her tears tumbled free from the corner of her eye, and she finally fell asleep.

_Mother_

_Laughing_

_Praying_

_Smiling_

_Holding_

_Soothing_

_Burning_

_Burning_

_Burning_

_\---_

Seluna woke drenched in sweat and wearily waited for her heart rate to slow again. An unpleasant start to the day as usual, but her mind felt sharper than it had done for some time.

Her head was still resting against one of Edér's thighs, though he was now stretched out on his back, snuffling away peacefully.

She twisted her head to seek out Aloth when Edér suddenly yelped and scrambled away from her.

"Not surprised you can't sleep with those weapons strapped to your head," he grumbled, massaging his groin.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to wake you."

He waved a hand at her dismissively. "Seems like you were out for a bit, at least."

She pulled herself to her feet, mentally scanning her body and mind as she did so and liking what she found. "I feel like I might have gotten some actual rest before the nightmares caught up with me this time."

He stood up to join her. "That's real good to hear."

"Edér, thank you. Really." She took his hands in her own.

"Don't mention it. Think I messed up the watch though." He pointed his head towards where Aloth lay slumped against his pack, mouth hanging open.

He squeezed her hands, and then went to wind Aloth up for falling asleep. She smiled, marvelling that she was able to do so, and that she'd managed to stumble across such fine companions.


	12. Caed Nua

The gentle rush of river was the first indication that they had reached their destination at last, the forest gradually giving way to reveal looming grey walls. The place immediately set Seluna on edge, as surely as if it were emitting a constant, high pitched whine. Her eyes darted around, searching the shadows between the trees for the source of her discomfort, and she drew closer to Edér who was brimming with a nervous energy of his own.

"This is the place?" Aloth asked.

Seluna nodded in answer, certain though she had never been here.

"Let's go say hello," Edér said, striding forward.

They crossed the cobbled bridge towards those foreboding walls, weathered and neglected. This was not a place where people lived.

Heavy footsteps. She whirled around to see a cheerful looking aumaua approaching them, his hand raised in a merry wave.

"You admire the walls as well?" he called ahead of his approach. She always found aumaua's pointed teeth a little disconcerting, but there could be no doubt that the beaming smile that had spread across his face at the sight of her party was a friendly one.

She calmed herself, returning his smile. "They're looking somewhat worse for wear, but still intimidating even so. What brings you out here?"

"Kana Rua, and it's a pleasure to meet you!" he said, offering his hand for a shake. She let it engulf hers. "I'm hoping to find the master of this place, if he's still about. I seek a great treasure you see - a sacred text of Rauatai, and I have reason to believe that it may be resting here below our very feet!"

"We're looking for Maerwald too, with questions of our own. Shall we head on in together?"

"Let's!" he boomed. "A place as old and storied as this is bound to have some interesting answers tucked away in its stonework. After you!"

They entered through the gatehouse, its large wooden doors already ajar and mouldering.

"Are we sure someone lives here?" Aloth asked.

"Only one way to find out," Edér said, taking the lead once more.

Whatever unease Seluna had felt before, it now pressed against her in full, dulling her steps. Something scratched at the insides of her ears and throat, and after a few more faltering steps the visions sank their teeth in. Fire. A man pleading for this insanity to end, for his life to be spared. The hacking coughs as he succumbed to the fumes and flames.

As before, it was Edér's firm touch that brought her back into herself. The hand under her elbow, ready to support her balance if needed. "More Watcher stuff?" he asked once she'd met his gaze again.

She nodded. "I wonder if I'll ever see something pleasant..." She let herself lean into him just a little, the slight pressure grounding her back into this moment where there was no fire.

"What did you see?" Kana asked enthusiastically.

She tensed, the scent of smoke heavy on the back of her tongue. "I saw... a man being burned alive."

Aloth inhaled sharply, studying her face. Edér's jaw clenched. Kana continued to ask questions.

They pressed on, Edér keeping a hold on her as they moved through the courtyard, pausing with her every time she froze. Homes burned. Villages raided. Retaliation. Escalation.

\---

Her heart was hammering by the time they made it into the main keep. Its doors were closed but unguarded, and they yielded readily before Kana's large hands. The main hall within was dusty and dark, and clearly hadn't been used in some time. Seluna was growing more certain by the moment that their search was going to end in yet another disappointment.

Wordlessly, they approached the throne at the end of the room. It was expertly carved in the image of a seated woman, her lap making the flat surface of the seat. The flowing lines of her robes and cloak made it easy to forget that it was just stone they were looking at, and Seluna found herself in awe of the statue's dignified presence. There was a warmth to the woman's face, that chased away the chill of the keep's atmosphere. And then she heard a voice.

_"Another Watcher in Caed Nua. What a strange happenstance."_

Seluna spun around to locate the speaker, but her companions just watched on strangely as she did.

_"I'm sorry if I startled you. I'm afraid my manners have been slipping. I haven't had much opportunity for introductions, lately. You may call me the Steward. I reside within the throne before you."_

Gaze snapping back to that carved face, she realised she could see a shifting, a stirring glimmer within. _A soul._

"The throne's alive," she muttered to the others. "And talking to me."

"Wh-" Edér started, but then broke off as his own face swung to the statue. Aloth and Kana's attention had been similarly grabbed.

"You can hear her too?" she asked.

Aloth nodded, his brows furrowing.

Not just a Watcher thing then. But what else could it be?

She waited until her party were all looking her way again, making sure she wasn't interrupting any silent communications. "We're looking for Maerwald. Does he still live here?"

The presence grew sad. _"He withdrew from me some time ago. I can still feel his presence faintly somewhere deeper inside the keep. Below. But he uses his gifts to confound me. We were going to achieve such great things together. This keep was beautiful once, and with his help, it was to be beautiful again."_

"When you say you can sense him, is that through a connection to him, or a connection to the keep?"

_"Both. I can feel the whole keep from here, and as he is the keep's master, I share a particular bond with him. But now he hides himself from my sight."_

"Do you think it would be safe to go down and look for him? We could let you know how he's doing if we find him."

_"I can't promise safety. There are paths that descend deep beneath the keep, and all manner of strange creatures are wont to emerge from them. But if you were to try... I would be grateful."_

"Then we'll try. And we'll be back as soon as we can."


	13. The Dangers Below

They descended down into the heavy silence, even their footsteps muffled by swathes of dust and cobwebs. Maerwald must have been down here for some time. Even if they were to find him unharmed, she worried for the state of his mind. But he was still alive. And if he was alive there was still a chance to help him.

"These webs are getting thicker," Aloth warned. "I suspect we'll be meeting their denizens soon."

Kana pulled a gun from his back and eyed the rest of them. "I see a warrior and a wizard," he said, eyeing Edér's sword and shield and Aloth's grimoire. "What do you bring to the fight, Watcher?"

"Healing, for after," she said.

"Very well! I'd say we should be able to handle ourselves. I'll stand by you and make sure none get too close."

The men didn't have to wait long for their fight. The spiders that descended on them were bigger than some dogs she'd known, but Edér stood his ground and tried his best to hold the swarm at bay as Aloth fired his arcane missiles and Kana his metal bullets. As soon as the first echoes of skittering had reached their ears, Kana had began to hum, the cheerful sound welcoming and steadying amidst the frantic scurrying and pouncing. The melody seemed to grow, note by note, until he was singing a rousing tale about a farmer and a fleet-footed fox. The battle seemed to slow and the room to brighten, and the spiders' movements much more telegraphed and easy to predict. She'd never witnessed chanting - the magic of song - in person before. Even each blast of his gun was woven artfully into the sound, punctuating the livelier parts and drawing the space further into the tale he was weaving.

Another flurry of sparkling projectiles, another crunch of metal into carapace, another verse of practiced baritone. One spider leapt for Edér's face, clutching to his shield as he lifted it between them and doing its best to clamber round and sink its jaws into his arm. It had barely found its mark when Kana blasted it back against the far wall, a new hole torn through its abdomen. Edér took a breath, plunged his sword into the last of them, and it was done.

Seluna swiftly moved to his side, lifting his arm and pulling his sleeve back to inspect where the spider had been going for.

"I'm alright," he said. "It just got a mouthful of bracer. Might bruise a bit, but probably not even that."

"If it does, let me know. I can help."

"So I've seen," he smiled. He patted the hand that still rested on his forearm and then shifted away. "Reckon we're getting close."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little combat scene for today, but I should finally have the encounter with Maerwald up next week!


	14. Maerwald

A mother shelling peas. A commander regretting that things had come to this. A raider eager to make these people pay. Generations of hatred. Generations of pain.

A wooden door, firelight glinting through the frames. Aloth carefully pushed it open, tucked against the wall and out of direct sight of whatever lay within. Edér readied himself and stepped through, the rest of the party following cautiously behind. And there sat Maerwald, huddled in a corner, shivering and muttering to himself.

She knelt down beside him, dodging around the arm Edér threw out to stop her. "Are you hurt?" she asked.

"No! Keep away from us! Leave us!" the man cried, scrambling back from her.

She stayed where she was, neither chasing nor abandoning. "You're alright. I can help you, if you tell me what you need. I'm not going to hurt you."

He calmed at that, but also became... colder. Stiller. The trembling stopped and he rose to his feet. She slowly did the same, suddenly feeling like she was under the gaze of a wild animal it would be foolish to startle.

"Maerwald isn't fooled," he snarled in a voice suddenly much harsher than before. "Begone, deceiving spirit!"

"I'm not a spirit, but there certainly are a lot around here, aren't there? I'm a Watcher, like you. I hoped you might be able to help me."

He turned away and shrank back against the wall, and the muttering began again. His hair and robes were filthy. He clearly wasn't coping down here on his own. Then he straightened to face her once more, a new confidence and discipline in his posture. "Maerwald will speak with you. But you will maintain your distance or you'll have me to answer to."

"Very reasonable," she agreed, and the man crumpled into tremors once more, suddenly unable to meet her gaze.

But despite the obvious struggle it was for him, he talked. And he told her about the gift and the burden that was Watching. The people he had helped, and the spirits and memories that had tormented him until he had _remembered_. Until he had seen into some of the past lives of his own soul. An Awakening. The strange quirks and outbursts of his conversation were manifestations of those Awakened lives. Manifestations of two characters in particular, that had been on opposite sides of the conflict that had been assailing her in this place. A conflict between Glanfathan natives and Aedyran settlers hundreds of years ago, in which atrocities had been committed by each side, by each voice that burst out of the poor man. Atrocities that he couldn't unsee, and that were breaking him into exhausted fragments.

"No sleep," he kept repeating. "No sleep for the Watcher."

And that hit uncomfortably close to home.

"I've... seen some things. Had some persistent dreams," she said. "I don't know whose memories they are. Could they... could they be one of my past lives?"

"Oh no. No no. You too? You too. Poor woman. Poor woman." Tears began to spill from his eyes, but they were not for his own sorry plight. "They will take you too."

"That can't be right," Kana burst out saying, reminding her suddenly that she hadn't come here alone. "There must be an answer to this somewhere, if we only look hard enough."

"Surely something can be done," Aloth agreed, looking somewhat queasy.

Maerwald just shook his head miserably. "So fragile, the Watcher's mind. So real his memories. Once Awakened, how can he sleep?"

"What did this?" Seluna asked, horror sharpening her tone slightly. "What caused me to Awaken?"

"You were reminded of it. A sight. A sound. A smell."

Desperately, she clawed for any nugget of information she could find in the hallucinations and scattered nightmares she'd been having. "There was a bîaŵac, a man with a strange winged headdress. In my dreams I'm desperate to talk to him and ask him something. Books, keys, secrets. All in service to the Queen..." The words and memories tumbled out, though she wasn't quite certain where some of them had come from.

"Keys of lead. Books of burden. Known to me are they, the Leaden Key."

"Who are they?"

"Secrets. Secrets and deceptions and schemes. Who knows their answers? Not they. Not they. Crossed them before. Hatred of Watchers. Hatred and fear. Much we see, threat to secrets."

"I've had encounters with this group myself," Kana said. "They do not wish me to find what I am looking for. Who is this Queen they pray to?"

"Woedica, Queen that Was," Maerwald answered.

That calmed her a little to hear. Woedica was widely revered in Aedyr as a just goddess - keeper of laws and binder of oaths. Seluna had wronged no one. There would be no justice in her death.

_Unless a past owner of my soul has something they have yet to atone for..._

"Your betrayal is for nothing," Maerwald suddenly snapped in that harsh voice she now knew belonged to a Glanfathan tribeswoman.

"I didn't... is this a memory you're seeing?" she asked.

"Your warnings are lost on these foreigners, and their blood will be Galawain's tribute this night. And you," his eyes narrowed, "beg for the Seeker God to grant you a quick death."

"No. Wait!" she cried as Maerwald lunged at her, a knife somehow in his hand.

She froze, and then flinched back from the flash of purple that had erupted between them, deflecting the blade and throwing its wielder off balance. When her eyes blinked open again a heartbeat later, Maerwald was lying sprawled on the floor, blood pooling from the back of his head.

"No!" she dropped to her knees beside him. "I can heal this, hold on."

His arms flailed for her, keeping her own at bay. "No," he rasped between shallow breaths. "No, don't."

"I can help you."

"No. No one... can," he said. Then he fell limp.

She scrambled to find a pulse, but there was none.

"Why didn't he let me... I could have helped him." Her hands were shaking.

"It seems he wanted to die," Kana said softly. "Poor fellow."

She turned to the rest of the group, lost for words. She saw the weary resignation on Edér's face and realised that he wasn't going to get whatever answers he had been looking for now. She saw something akin to panic on Aloth's. He had cast the spell that had killed the man after all. But it hadn't been his fault.

With an incredibly sour taste in their mouths, they trudged back upstairs to tell the Steward what had happened.

\---

_"I felt Maerwald's passing. You slew him?"_

"I'm so sorry," Seluna said, her head bowed under the weight of her guilt. "He wasn't himself. He lashed out at us and... it was an accident."

_"I suppose part of me is grateful to no longer have to wait and worry in darkness. But I shall mourn him. He was a good master to this place once. As I hope you shall now be."_

"I'm sorry?"

_"This place has a will all its own and has always known its master. It looks to you as Maerwald's successor now. A dubious honour, inheriting a fortress both broken and cursed. But together we could restore it. As Maerwald once intended."_

"This place is... mine?"

_"It will accept no other."_

"I..." Seluna felt her legs wobble. "I need to sleep."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apart from Seluna's lines, most of this chapter's dialogue was taken directly from the game. Also, I recently commissioned some art of Seluna and it turned out absolutely gorgeous. You can see it on tumblr [here](https://elalavella.tumblr.com/post/629625227250401280/half-body-render-of-orime-stories-oc-seluna), if you're interested!


	15. Alone

They went to investigate the dilapidated old building next to the main keep that the Steward had directed them to - Brighthollow. It must once have been a welcoming mansion capable of comfortably housing at least a dozen people. Her head reeled with the knowledge that it was all supposed to be hers somehow, and with the information the Steward had been unable to hold back from flooding her with about how best to go about fixing the various problems she'd now inherited. Letters to be written, craftsmen and serving staff to be hired. The woman was clearly excited to get started, at least.

Edér grinned as he wandered about, peeking in various rooms. "Needs some fixing up like the chair lady said, but looks like we can sleep under an actual roof tonight! Looks like there's rooms enough for everybody too!" He flung his pack into one of them and then stood in the doorway. "This one's mine!"

"Our Watcher should get the biggest one there. This is her new home after all!" Kana said. Seluna smiled warmly at his kindness, but anxiety had begun to needle at her insides. He waved a hand at them all. "I shall see you in the morning," and then he disappeared into his own room.

"We dismissed?" Edér asked her.

"Of course, sleep well," she heard herself say reflexively.

Then it was just Aloth watching her carefully. "Are you alright?" he asked.

She desperately wanted to say yes, but that would be a lie. "I'll be okay." That would be true one day, surely. "I'm sure you're looking forward to enjoying some space to yourself too."

He nodded. "You know where we are if you need anything." Then he left her too.

She stood there for a while before turning to enter her own room, her terror rising. She closed the door and then rested her palms and forehead against the thick wood for a moment, trying to master herself. Another moment passed, and then another. But still she was frozen against the door, unable to move somehow.

_Just cross the room and set up your bed!_

She lowered herself to the floor, her back against the door.

_What are you doing?_

Tears began to tumble from her eyes as she looked around bewildered. Why was she so afraid? This was her space now, somewhere to retreat to and find peace. Shouldn't it be a relief after such a long journey? After months of travel and hardship after hardship, she could rest at last.

She brought her shaking hands up to wipe at her cheeks.

_Come on, you're alright. Everything's okay. Just pull your bedroll out. Sleep, and you'll feel better in the morning._

The night crawled by at its own speed, as it always did. She sat against the door for its entirety, alternating between crying and staring morosely at a point beyond the opposite wall. No matter how she begged and pleaded with herself, she would not move and sleep would not come.

Dawn slowly trickled into the room and the birds outside began their morning salutations. She knew those things to be beautiful and good, but the gloomy force within her refused to budge, resolute in its dejected stillness. She could barely feel anything at all. Maybe she would become like the Steward, a stone body for the cracks and vines of this place to reclaim. Maybe she would become like the people at the ruins, her fleeting outline scattered to the winds as nothing but grey dust. Surely either would be preferable to becoming like Maerwald.

_Thump Thump Thump!_

She sprang away from the door, crouching against the floor like a frightened animal.

"You awake? Let's explore your new place in the daylight!"

Edér. She didn't respond. Had she forgotten how to speak? Or had the dust and stone taken her voice already.

_Thump Thump!_ "Watcher?"

There was a hushed conversation and then the door opened. Her three companions stood there, eyes taking in her crouched form and the untouched pack beside the door.

Edér sighed. "No sleep?"

She shook her head. That much she could do.

"Is this...?" Kana blinked. "Are you alright?"

"She has trouble sleeping. We think it's to do with her Watcher abilities," Aloth explained.

"Guess you aren't in an exploring mood then?" Edér asked.

She shook her head again.

"Well, how about, Kana and I go poke our noses in some of the lower levels and see what the situation is down there. Aloth, you stay with the Watcher and the pair of you can write them fancy letters Chair Lady needs," Edér said.

"The Steward made things sound quite dangerous down there. Are you sure that's a good idea?" Aloth asked.

"We'll come running back soon as we see anything too big or nasty. Just want an idea what we're up against. Come on big guy!" Edér slapped Kana on the back and steered him away from the room.

Just before he left their sight Edér turned back and gestured to get Aloth's attention. "Hey! Do the thing."

"I don't-" Aloth replied.

"Do it! She needs it." Edér refused to break eye contact until Aloth lowered his head in assent.

"I shall see what I can do," he offered.

"You better!"

Aloth watched them go, fidgeting with the edges of his tunic. "Do you think you can wait here for just a little while? I'll fetch some things for writing."

Seluna nodded.

He returned with a dusty old stool and a handful of papers and ink. He placed the stool down in the room and sat cross-legged before it. "I don't know if it's something you're interested in... but, ah... Edér was suggesting..."

Wordlessly she crawled over to him and lay down, resting her head in his lap. He froze.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

She placed a hand on his knee, gripping feebly.

"I ah, don't know how much help I'll be, but I can try. If you don't, that is to say, I-" he stopped and took a deep breath. "Just try to relax, if you can."

And his fingers began to ever so cautiously graze the top of her head. She let out a sigh and felt her shoulders drop. Slowly, the rest of her body began to unwind too.

Aloth continued to carefully trace around her head and neck with the fingers of his left hand, while writing out letters with his right. Sometimes he would mutter something into the air for the Steward to silently respond to, some point of clarification or other. Other times his massaging would fall into small, looped motions as his left hand failed to fight the urge to mirror the right. She smiled and closed her eyes, and sleep found her at last.


	16. Settling In

Kana was sent to bring the first batch of letters to Defiance Bay and return with a few more helpers. The Steward had advised them on who should be informed of what, and had suggested which old allies and networks should be invited back into the process of getting the Keep up and running again. Seluna also asked him to pass through Gilded Vale if he could. There would be others that hadn't found the warm welcome they had been hoping for there. Eothas had guided her to this place, and now she had an opportunity to use it to provide a haven for others. Her path was clear.

But for now, it was just her, Edér and Aloth. They had promised not to further delve into the floors below until Kana returned, so there was nothing for them to do but rest and enjoy their new home. And she dearly hoped that the place would become a home for the three of them.

Getting to know Edér, she learned more about his history with the Saint's War. That his brother had died in it, but that rumours had been spreading of his defection to Readceras' side, leaving Edér unsure of what to think or believe about any of it, including whether they had been right to join the fighting in the first place. The thought that he might have had a hand in killing the God he had worshipped his entire life weighed heavily upon him.

Sometimes she would poke about in the old buildings with him. He seemed to really enjoy their little adventures, as he called them. They both shared ideas for what each space could be used for once it had been restored, sometimes trying to out-do each other's more ridiculous suggestions. She enjoyed when he would offer his arm to help her navigate some obstruction or other, and found herself holding it for longer than necessary when he did.

Getting to know Aloth, she learned about the difficult childhood he'd had, where his mother had been largely absent and he had been left at the mercy of his father's violence. She learned about his strict training as a wizard and the worries he'd had about being funneled towards a life under the employment of the Earl his father served. Getting some distance from all that was the reason he was trying to find somewhere to belong on a distant continent far from home.

Sometimes she would sit with him on the walls and they would watch the wind stirring the overgrown grass and the birds passing by. It felt peaceful up there, he often said. Sometimes they sat in silence, and sometimes they shared stories of happier times in Aedyr. She enjoyed turning from the scenery to catch him watching her, and the way his cheeks would flush when he hastily broke eye contact. She found herself watching him more and more often too.

And each night, the three would set up their bedding in the biggest room together where the men would take turns soothing her until she could sleep.


	17. Nightmares

The nourishment from all the sleep and relaxation she'd been able to achieve had her energy and spirit slowly blossoming into life once more. But there was nothing anyone could do to save her from her dreams, which were only becoming more gruesome and disturbing as time went on. She'd seen people die in hundreds of ways, with never any hint of purpose or reason.

Her current dream was of the racks again. Rows and rows of them. Twisted bodies and jagged screams. She walked among them, inspecting each face. A young girl. An old man. A middle-aged woman. Aloth. Edér.

Panic filled her as she watched her arms reach out and tighten the mechanisms that held them, deaf to their wordless cries. Then she continued on in the same unhurried manner as before.

Her heart was pounding in her throat as she woke. She lay shaking, her companions sprawled out on either side of her. Why had they been in her dream? Had they all met before in the past? Was it a glimpse into the future? Or was it simply her nightmares torturing her the best way they knew how.

She pushed herself up, teeth still chattering, and began lighting a candle. She had to see their faces, to see that they were okay.

"You nightmaring again?" Edér grumbled as he roused. She reached out to feel along his nose, still where it was supposed to be thank the Gods. He sat up as she withdrew her hand, raising an eyebrow at her.

Aloth was already in the process of sitting when she turned to him, still shivering and breathing in shallow gasps. She stared at his face with wide eyes and cupped his chin, running a thumb along his lower lip. Still intact. Still okay. His eyes darted to Edér's and then back to her own. "Um... Seluna?"

She swiftly retracted her hand and took some deep breaths to calm herself. "Sorry. Really bad dreams. I had to... check."

"Wanna talk about it?" Edér asked.

"We're here," Aloth added.

They each lifted one of her hands and began stroking and soothing along her arms. Gradually, the shaking stopped.

"Thank you," she said. "You're both so good to me. And, so important to me. So important." She disentangled her arms so that she could take their hands in hers. Aloth continued tracing his fingertips across the back of the hand he held. Edér gave her other hand a squeeze. "You put up with a lot from me, and I don't know if I'm going to get any better."

"You got a lot on your plate just now, but you'll be alright," Edér reassured. "We'll figure this all out."

She sighed. "I love you both so much," she said, bringing their hands to her lips and placing a kiss on each one. "I couldn't do any of this without you."

"What were you dreaming about?" Aloth asked. Edér used his free hand to tuck her hair behind her ear.

She pressed her forehead against the hands she held. "I dream a lot about people being tortured. When I first Awakened I saw... Shadows? Visions? People on racks and burning on pyres and swinging from ropes. I haven't seen them while I've been awake since arriving at Gilded Vale, but I still see them every night."

"You serious?" Edér asked. She nodded. "How come?"

"I don't know. I have to assume it's something to do with the past life that's bugging me, but I don't know how much of it's a true reflection, and how much of it is just... dreams being dreams."

"And you're being tortured too? In these dreams," Aloth asked.

"No. I'm either just watching or sometimes I'm... doing it. The torturing."

"That's... messed up," Edér said.

"Tonight I saw, I thought I saw, both of you... in so much pain. I don't think that part would be based on anything real though because that wouldn't make any sense, would it? I don't want to-" she began to sob, "I don't want to hurt you."

There was a stunned silence, but then Edér swept her up into a tight hug.

"It's hard to imagine you hurting anyone," Aloth said, and she reached for him to pull him into the embrace too. He hesitated, but then allowed himself to be led in, his forehead held in place against her neck. It took some time for them to calm her down, but they eventually got her settled for sleep once more and she felt herself begin to sink back into dreams.

"Edér?" Aloth's voice whispered in the darkness. "What... _is_ this?"

Edér sighed. "Who knows."

"You like her a lot."

"Yeah. You do too."

There was a silence.

Seluna smiled and reached for their hands once more. "Go to sleep. We'll talk in the morning."


	18. Checking in with Edér

Edér was sitting leaning against the wall, watching her as she woke and the shadows scattered once more.

"Where's Aloth?" she asked.

"Think the poor guy just about died of embarrassment after you jumped into the conversation last night. Y'know, most people would just pretend to be asleep and enjoy the two men swooning over them."

"That wouldn't have been terribly honest of me though, would it?"

"Right, your priest stuff. You never told a lie? Ever?"

"Never intentionally. I'm not all knowing, sadly."

He chuckled. "So if I asked you something, you'd have to tell the truth?"

"Probably."

"Do you think you might have any feelings for me?"

Her heart fluttered. "I think you know that I do."

He rubbed at his chin, a grin spreading across his face. "And Aloth?"

"I'd like to talk to _him_ about it, preferably as soon as possible, but I do feel a lot for him too."

His expression sobered a little. "Guess you've got a choice on your hands then."

Her own smile dimmed. Choosing either of them likely meant squashing down the shape of her relationship with the other.

"You're doing your worried thinking face," Edér said. "What's troubling you, Miss Honest?"

"I guess I don't particularly relish the idea of that choice. You both mean a lot to me."

"Well I'm not sure both's an option."

"Isn't it?" she asked in a small voice.

Edér blinked several times in surprise. "Uh, it's not really how things are done, is it?"

"The three of us aren't doing a particularly good job of doing things the normal way though, are we? Would things even be so different if we were to start acting on our feelings?"

"I'd be spending a lot more time kissing you for starters."

Her hands flew to her mouth in an attempt to contain the grin that now broke out across her own face. She hadn't expected... In that moment she wanted nothing more than to kiss him. But no, that wasn't true. She needed to speak to Aloth too.

"Gather you liked the sound of that?" he grinned.

She nodded wordlessly, hands still at her mouth.

He shifted across the room towards her and she reached for him as he did. Then his lips were against hers and for a moment she was lighter than air, floating and happy and free.

She never wanted that moment to end.

"We should stop," she breathed between kisses. "Edér, please."

He stole a couple more and then pulled back, hands still grasping her forearms. His eyes shone and his lips had turned a deeper shade of red. She struggled to take her eyes off them.

"I thought I was supposed to be making a choice," she admonished with no heat.

He grinned unapologetically. "Look... I never thought about sharing a girl before, but you keep kissing me like that, and maybe it's okay for you and Aloth to be messing about too." He chuckled and then sighed. "As you said, the whole thing's weird anyway. I'm not kissing _him_ though."

"Very fair," she smiled. "Now will you let me go and talk to him?"

"Can I have one more kiss?"

She took his hands and kissed each one once.

"That's not exactly what I meant."

"I know," she smiled, getting up to leave.


	19. Checking in with Aloth

Aloth was sitting atop the walls, eyes fixed on the horizon, waiting for her to come to him. Very different from Edér's morning ambush. She took her usual place beside him and settled into the comfortable silence they often shared. The sun was still low in the sky, and the fresh morning air was easy to drink deeply from.

"I've already spoken with Edér."

He took a long breath in. "I imagined as much."

"And I told him that I care very deeply about you both and can't imagine choosing one over the other."

"I see."

"So we discussed the possibility of me just... not choosing."

He turned to her, and she could see dark circles under his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"We've already been doing things our own way so far, and the relationships we share already feel-"

"Unconventional, to put it mildly," he finished, frowning.

"Exactly. So why start following conventions now?" She reached a hand towards his, letting him finish the movement and place his hand in hers. This time she was the one to stroke along the side of his hand with her thumb. "You mean a lot to me, Aloth."

He sighed and turned back to the view, his delicate brows pinched together with worry.

"How about you? What are your thoughts?"

She waited patiently for him to order those thoughts, still stroking his hand. Suddenly he began grimacing, tremors running along his arms, his torso buckling and his hand clenching painfully around hers. "He's jist feart, the clod. He's aye feart," he said with a sly grin she'd never seen before. "You get 'im telt!"

The whole texture of his voice had changed and the accent was like nothing she'd ever heard. What-

"No! That's not-" he said in his usual voice, dropping her hand and pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes so firmly that it looked painful.

"Take your time," she reassured, heart pounding. She gathered her hands onto her lap and forced herself to look away and give him some breathing space. What had that been about? Was he ill? Was he angry? Suddenly she was afraid.

The silence that stretched between them now felt brittle and tense. She was constantly on the cusp of saying something, but held back from fear of somehow causing harm. Had she already said something wrong? Had she already damaged things between them in precisely the way she had wanted to avoid? She forced herself to be still, acutely aware of how empty her hands felt.

"Seluna there's... something I should have told you earlier," he finally managed.

"I'm listening," she encouraged. She continued to scan the view before her, seeing none of it.

He took a deep breath. "I also have an Awakened soul. But, unlike yours, mine is a presence that shares my senses and my skin, making herself manifest at the most unwelcome times."

Her gaze was pulled back to him as he grunted as though in pain. Eyes shut, teeth clenched, his lips twitched in and out of various grimaces as he clearly fought against... something. When the wave passed and his eyes opened once more, she saw that they were bloodshot.

"I'm sorry." He looked at her, clearly exhausted. "I've tried to learn to control Iselmyr. I've gotten stronger, but so has she."

Her voice came out in a horrified whisper. "All this time, you've been helping me so much, and you've been carrying... _this_ alone. All this time... I had no idea." She fought the urge to reach for him. "Aloth, how long has this been going on?"

He had regained his usual posture, controlled and still. Only now did she understand how much effort that must always be costing him. "Since I was very young. The first time she manifested was during one of my father's violent outbursts. To be honest, I don't remember the specifics. Only that he was more careful with me after that."

For a man to torment his own child so, to instil such terror that the boy's very soul had split in two... And then did that mean... Was the killer from her dreams going to wrest control of her body one day too? She remembered Maerwald, and the knife he'd held in his hand. "What's she like?" she asked, pushing such dark thoughts away.

"Artless. Uncouth." His face darkened. "A creature of rash impulses and feeble faculties. She-" His expression wavered, a glint of clever angry eyes and then nothing. "-wags her impertinent tongue when she should listen."

Then the eyes were back and his face took on a cheeky confidence. "Aye, this one's fet to boil! Hard to get his gaff over anything tisn't to do with books and spellspeak."

"Will you _stop!_" the true Aloth said, groaning and holding his hands to his face.

"Aloth, I'm so sorry, I didn't know." She knew her face was still lined with concern, despite her best efforts to be calm for him. "Is there anything I should be doing differently? Anything I can do to help?" She'd fallen to pieces in the wake of her own Awakening, and here he was, soldiering on with his own in silence.

He shook his head glumly. "I don't want to cause you more problems. But I wanted to tell you. I need you to understand that this problem doesn't exactly make me a terribly suitable partner, for anyone. I never know when she might burst out and when I might lose control."

"I understand. I..." She paused. She wanted to encourage him to rely on her and to become as close as he was comfortable, to reassure him that she still cared for him as much as, if not more than before, to ask if he'd let her try to soothe his troubles away as he had already done for her so many times. But much of that was rooted in her own selfish desires, she knew. Perhaps too much. "I understand. I won't bring it up again unless you do, the relationship stuff I mean. I didn't realise how much I was dropping on you."

"You always have Edér," he said tonelessly.

"I do, and I'm excited to explore that, but I will always have time for you too, should you ever... want it."


	20. Recalibrating

Aloth began using his own room after that, pain ripping through her anew each night as he slipped off to sleep alone. But it's what he needed, so she would not fight it. She and Edér would instead retire to the master bedroom, where he'd fill that hurting chasm with giddy butterflies as they kissed and held each other till they fell asleep.

Edér's arms were strong and she felt safe there, bundled up and held tightly against his broad chest. It was becoming second nature for her to tilt her head away from him slightly so as not to jab him with her horns and disturb their peace. When she woke from the nightmares, now begrudgingly accepted as a part of her daily routine, the sound and sensation of his chest rising and falling behind her was her anchor grounding her back into the present and helping to lull her back to sleep.

Aloth had explained his situation to Edér too, but Edér simply seemed happy to have the opportunity to make a new friend in Iselmyr, somehow oblivious to the discomfort this was causing Aloth. There were a few times she'd been pleased to catch the two sharing whispered jokes and had marvelled at how close they were becoming, only to notice that it was Iselmyr's laughter she was hearing.

She heard that laughter now as Iselmyr burst out midway through a conversation she had been having with Aloth on the wall.

"I'd prefer to talk to Aloth please, if that's alright."

"Give up on him lass. Lad disnae conne where tae put it onyways. But I dae," Iselmyr grinned, running a tongue seductively across Aloth's lip. "A'd see tae those needs ae yours."

"Very kind of you, but I'll have to decline."

"Jus close yur eyes an fancy it's him."

Seluna stopped responding, and the blush slowly spreading across his face signalled Aloth's return.

"Ah, I didn't-"

"You don't need to explain or apologise for someone else's actions," she reassured. "It's okay."

"Well _that's_ something I've been doing my whole life. Why stop now?" He sighed, but gave her a small grateful smile. "It's... nice, just being open about it all for once."

She smiled back. "We're both falling apart, aren't we."

"I am in good company," he agreed.

Movement in the corner of her eye pulled her attention to the group of kith heading towards the keep in the distance. Kana was back! The pair went to fetch Edér and meet everyone at the gate.


	21. Placeholder

Still to write about Kolsc visiting Caed Nua and having a conversation with Seluna about getting rid of Raedric.  
The story continues from the next chapter.


	22. Concerns

"Something tells me you aren't actually planning on removing Raedric," Edér said after they'd retired to their room.

"No," she confirmed. "That won't help anything."

"Won't help..." He chuckled uneasily. "The man's a monster, you saw what he's done. The tree, the temple, all of it."

"The man's a man, with his own reasons and rationalisations for everything he's doing."

"How can you say that? Raedric-" he cut off, swallowing. He remained his usual affable self, but his eyes were getting harder. "Raedric wants to hunt down and destroy all traces of Eothas worship. He would gladly kill us both. He would have approved what happened to your temple back home. Encouraged it even. Doesn't that get you feeling a certain kind of way?"

"Edér," she said firmly, "we both know it doesn't feel good. But this is bigger than just my pain or yours. I want to make sure he doesn't continue down this path so that no more innocents have to die."

"Only one way to do that, far as I see it," he said, keeping his tone light.

"Burn down his castle in revenge? Then everyone who agrees with him gets to pick the next thing they want to burn down in retaliation." She saw the pyres in her mind's eye. She did her best to ignore them.

"That's not-"

She cut across him. "The best way to protect people is to get him to change his mind and help us undo the harm he's caused." She took his hands. "I know you Dyrwoodans love your torches and pitchforks, but I have to try talking first. Please let me try."

He paused, his lips pressing together. "I don't like it."

"I know."

"It's dangerous for you to even be in the same room as him."

"I know."

"What if he kills you?"

"Then I'll die knowing that I did everything I could and that I served my God to the best of my ability until the end."

He made a strange noise then and pulled her in for a hug. She stroked up and down his back, comforting and grounding him.

"Try your talking then," Edér mumbled into her shoulder, "but I'm gonna be right there and if he so much as looks at you the wrong way..."

"I'll feel a lot better with you there," she said, kissing the side of his face. "I hope that Kana and Aloth will come too. And I know Eothas will be with me. I'm not defenseless. I can do this."

"You better."


	23. Back on the Road

They had not long re-entered Lord Raedric's lands when a young man strolled out of the forest to block their path, a knife clutched in one hand. Her companions reacted immediately, Edér drawing his sword, Aloth flipping through the pages of his grimoire and Kana raising his gun. Seluna stepped in front of all of them, gesturing for calm with her palms.

"Good afternoon!" she greeted the newcomer. "What's your name?"

"None o' your business," he replied, gesturing at them with the knife. "You lot look like fancy folk. Hand over your coin and I'll let you live."

"There's only one of you, friend," Edér said in a measured tone.

The boy's eyes gleamed with satisfaction, obviously hoping that someone had been about to say that. "That's what you think!"

Four others stepped out to surround the group. All so young, probably only in their late teens.

"Things have been rough for a lot of people recently," Seluna nodded, pulling a small handful of silvers out of her pouch and holding them out towards the first youth. "If you're looking for work or somewhere to live, Caed Nua's rebuilding and looking for hands."

The boy took the coins from her and blinked down at them, confused.

"She's got more than that, mate," one of the others shouted. "Take it!"

Edér's hand began to close around her upper arm, but she shrugged away from him. "There's certainly more to be found at Caed Nua," she reiterated.

The boy glanced around at his group, and then back to her. "The old keep's a bit of a jaunt, and a crumbling ruin besides. On the other hand, your pockets are right here, y'get me?"

If she'd had him alone he might have been more amenable, but he likely didn't want to lose face in front of his peers.

She was still calculating how to accommodate for that when he suddenly darted forward to grab at the pouch she still held in her hand. She reflexively pulled it back against her chest, raising her other hand to make a barrier between them when the boy lashed out with the knife, slicing into her forearm. In a final flurry of movement, Edér had punched the boy on the chin knocking him to the ground, and his gang had scattered back into the trees in a panic.

"Real tough guys you are," Edér said, pinning the boy down with his boot before he could scramble away. His lip had split open and a bruise was beginning to blossom under his eye.

Seluna went to kneel down beside him but aborted halfway and settled into a crouch instead. "I'm sorry about that, you gave us all a scare. I'll heal you, but I'm going to ask my friend here to hold you while I do. I can't heal and dodge at the same time," she smiled, keeping her voice light and jokey.

Edér yanked the boy to his feet and held his arms pinned against his sides from behind. "You sure? He could probably do with the lesson."

She grabbed the front of her tunic with one hand while resting the fingers of her other on the boy's cheek, intending to give a different lesson. She enveloped herself in her love for him, pitying the circumstances that had led to him being here, doing this. Wishing the world had given him more obvious paths to choose from. She ran her fingers across his face, hoping he would forgive the discomfort. The light bloomed.

"You're still welcome in Caed Nua, if you ever want a place." She nodded for Edér to let the boy go, and watched him bolt into the woods after his friends.

"Your dedication to your faith is admirable Watcher," Kana said, "but I fear that if we hadn't been here, there'd be a knife in your gut right now."

"But you _were_ here, and I'm alright," she countered.

"You planning on passing out coins to every person we cross paths with?" Edér asked.

"If they need it, perhaps I will."

Aloth released a quick burst of breath from his nose. "Then it's just as well we're here to save you from your good intentions."

"Don't make me confiscate your coin pouch now!" Edér added, chuckling.

"Try it and see what happens," she said, staring him down just long enough for his laughter to falter before breaking into a wide grin herself.

Then everyone laughed, the tension diffused, and continued on their way.

"What about your arm?" Aloth asked as they walked.

"Hmmm? Oh it's not that bad, the cut was pretty shallow." She raised her arm to show him. A few droplets of white had spilled from the scratch, but otherwise it was keeping to itself.

"Shouldn't you do something about it though? The road isn't the most sterile environment," he persisted.

"I suppose. Should I break out the bandages then?"

"Can you not heal yourself?" Kana asked.

"No, I don't think it works like that. Anyway, it wouldn't feel right. I'm supposed to share Eothas' light, not hoard it for myself."

"But omitting yourself from the equation surely isn't sharing either?" Kana replied. "That seems more like... giving something away completely!"

She mulled that over for the rest of their walk that day. She hadn't thought about it that way before, but now that she was, Kana's words felt right. Perhaps it was okay for her to tend to her own needs too, just as she would anyone else's. Perhaps she'd give it a try.


	24. Self Love

When they stopped to camp for the night, Seluna lit a candle and sat cross-legged on the ground before it. Her hips complained about the shape, but they would get used to it. She closed her eyes and held a hand to her chest, this time laying it flat over her heart rather than pretending to grab at something that wasn't there. Her other hand rested lightly by the cut.

Tentatively, she brushed against her love for herself, the territory feeling awkward and unfamiliar. She supposed that if she had to, she could say that despite her recent trials, she was still on her path, doing good as she could. She might even go so far as to admit that she'd handled things remarkably well, given all the support structures that had been suddenly stripped away from her lately. Her family, her home, her sanity, her sleep, her chance of sanctuary at Gilded Vale, Aloth...

As she slowly found her footing, she looked at herself as she would any other and saw a tired, suffering woman.

_You poor, sweet thing. You're doing so well. I'm proud of that. Thankful for that. I love you._

She felt the glow blossom from her hand, and smoothed it over the cut, the sharp sting receding into blissful quiet. So this was what she had been sharing with, no, giving away to others. It was beautiful. It was peace.

She opened her eyes and they met the candle, shining bright and approving. She bowed her head and silently thanked Eothas for always being there for her, throughout everything.

"It worked!" Kana remarked once she'd put away the candle and returned to them.

"Thanks to your inspiration," she said. "I'd never thought to try before."

"If I may," he continued, lowering his head briefly at the compliment, "I'm struggling to imagine you taking care of this Lord Raedric in the way that Kolsc is anticipating. What are your intentions?"

"I just want to talk to him," she explained. "I've been given an opportunity and I'm going to use it to try to solve this without bloodshed. Eothas will guide me through if I listen."

"Then it should be an interesting conversation," he said. "I'm looking forward to seeing where it takes us!"

"We settling down for the night then?" Edér asked carefully, exchanging various glances with her.

She didn't feel comfortable sharing romantic affections in front of others, something which Edér had no problems with. They'd still been negotiating and learning their way through that, but back on the road there was now no private space for them to retreat to. But then the thought of trying to sleep with no touching at all terrified her.

Kana chuckled at the sudden tension. "Do as you will. We need our Watcher relaxed and at her best." He chose his patch of ground and settled down, turning his back on them.

Seluna glanced at Aloth, who lowered his head in permission and then sat himself down. "I'll take first watch," he said.

Edér sat down and beckoned her over, and she hesitantly joined him. He motioned for her to lean closer and then whispered in her ear, "Look, we don't have to do anything, but at least let me do the thing. You won't sleep otherwise, we both know it."

She glanced around the campsite to check that nobody was actively watching and then nodded at him. They both lay down and she curled to rest her head on his thigh, where he had placed a folded up shirt to act as a buffer for her horns. He began massaging her head, pressing his fingertips across her scalp and the back of her neck. She let out a controlled and quiet exhale, and closed her eyes.


	25. Raedric

Lord Raedric was sat on his throne, armoured for battle, looking like a man that hadn't slept in days. A dagger rested upon the arm of his seat. Seluna crossed the room slowly, the Lord's guards bristling visibly at her approach.

"They tell me Caed Nua has a new Lady," the man said in a strong voice that was at odds with his haggard appearance.

She nodded. "I hoped to introduce myself. And I hope that we might work together in these difficult times, for the benefit of both our territories."

His hand kept wandering to the dagger. Blood dripped from it, still wet. Anxiety began to churn in her belly.

"There is much that needs done here in the Vale. More than a neighbouring Lady with a ruined keep can do. See to your own land, and I'll see to mine."

"What things need done?" she asked, choosing to ignore his cynicism.

He took a deep breath. "There is a plague among us, here in Gilded Vale," he said. "The Legacy is but part of it. The rest is fear. Heresy. Perversion. Each incident alone is but the flicker of a candle. But together - a blaze that will destroy us."

Given the space, he clearly wanted to talk, wanted to be heard, despite his mistrustful dismissals. That was a promising starting point. She could work with that.

"When the Legacy fell upon our lands, despair came with it," he continued. "How could it not, when the curse took our children - our hope - from us? I knew that Berath would not allow such cruelties - not unless we had lost his favour. Some in the village yet cling to a false faith, worshipping the dead god. They revere him in secret, even knowing what it brings upon us." Seluna swallowed. The Lord's fist clenched around the throne's arm, just above where the dagger lay. "My own wife... The flame consumed her. My Ygrid... And our child with it." The anxiety in her belly turned numb with horror as he visibly struggled to continue.

"What happened?" she asked, in a voice barely above a whisper. Lord Raedric grew very still.

"A just sentence." His face quivered with emotion, and he took a moment to compose himself before continuing. "Ygrid knew. She hid the verses from me, the tokens. She knew what I would make of them. The Scattered God poisoned her against me. Made her deaf to my instruction. Only when our son was born - that hollow thing. That monster. Then - Then we both knew what her crimes had wrought." His face hardened again. "It could not stand."

Her hands began to tremble. "You... murdered them? Your wife? Your own child?"

Raedric's mouth continued to move but there was no longer any sound. Her blood was pounding in her ears and her surroundings had blurred away. There was nothing in the world but her and him and she _hated_ him. With every fibre of her being she _hated_ him. There he sat, wanting respect and sympathy for his self-inflicted hardships, for the murder of his wife and child, for driving Gilded Vale into madness, for every person the mobs had torn apart, for every burned temple to her God of all that was good and beautiful in this world, she _hated_ him!

Emotion, energy, swelled within her and she thrust her palm forward, a lance of blinding light bursting from the hand and piercing through Raedric's torso. He crumpled back into the throne and was still.

Activity blurred all around her, strange smears of grey and red and slow warbled sounds. She stumbled through it all, throwing open the doors at the side of the room and praying that she wasn't too late.

The woman's body lay sprawled upon the bed, throat slit open. The baby was nowhere to be seen. Seluna dropped to her knees by the bed, clutching at the stiff, pulseless arms and weeping. She stayed that way until Edér came and scooped her up into his arms, carrying her away from it all.


	26. Comfort

Kolsc had arrived with some men soon after the confrontation in the throne room, and Seluna thanked the Gods that Edér, Aloth and Kana had emerged from the mess she'd caused with nothing more than minor injuries. Edér had bundled her into a guest room, where he assured her that Kolsc had said they could stay as long as they needed.

They stood in the centre of the room, her despondent with shock, Edér rubbing up and down her arms and cupping her face, trying to comfort her.

There was a knock at the door. Edér kissed the side of her head and then moved to answer it.

"May I come in?" she heard Aloth ask.

She nodded, and Edér beckoned him in.

"How are you holding up?" he asked her as he entered.

A lump in her throat had been blocking the words from coming, and in that moment it simply seemed to grow, prickling the back of her eyes and trembling her chin.

"Kolsc seems a decent fellow," Aloth continued, filling the silence. "I've little doubt the people of Gilded Vale will have easier lives under his guidance."

"Doesn't matter," she croaked. "It wasn't my place to... I shouldn't have..." she began sobbing anew. Edér pulled her in for a hug, squeezing tightly and making gentle shushing noises. "I didn't even know I could d- d- do that! Now he'll never have the ch- chance to make things right. I t- took that from him!" she wailed.

"He had it coming," Edér said. "If it wasn't us, it would've been someone else. Raedric's pissed off too many people."

"We don't kn- know that! We don't get to deci- cide!"

"Either way," Aloth interjected, "it seems his particular path to redemption has taken him to the Gods' realm. If Eothas is as you believe, surely he'll take things from here. And, even if what you have done truly is such a great sin, surely you have your own path towards making things right. You forgive everyone else anything. Forgive yourself. Please."

"I should have known better," she protested.

"Please," he asked again, holding her gaze, the intimacy, the sincerity, shocking her. She suddenly realised that she was no longer crying.

She looked down at her arm, squeezing where the cut from the young boy's knife had been. Eothas taught forgiveness and redemption for all. Even her.

"I'll try," was all she could say.

He repressed the smile that twitched at the corners of his mouth, but she received it all the same.

"Will you stay here tonight?" she asked, suddenly desperate. "Please. Just as it was before. Just what you're comfortable doing."

His gaze shifted to Edér for a brief moment, then he nodded. "You two take the bed. I can survive another night on the floor. Let me get my things."

She didn't have the willpower to fight Edér's kisses and attentions that night, knowing that she needed all the comfort she could get, deserving or not, appropriate or not. When she was ready to try for sleep, she turned her back to him and let him wrap his arms around her as he planted a last few kisses on the back of her neck.

Aloth was still awake on the floor. Their eyes met. One of her hands fell from the bed, fingers brushing against carpet. "Thank you," she mouthed at him, and then closed her eyes to find sleep. Moments later a hand curled around her own, the gentle pressure soothing her battered heart. She clung to it like a lifeline.

\---

She woke to see Aloth sleeping on the floor right next to the bed, his hand resting just beside her own. She exhaled and picked it back up, closing her eyes again and taking a moment to be grateful for the comfortable bed and her dear companions. Edér stirred beside her.

"Hey! Welcome back to the party!" he said to Aloth as he sat up.

Aloth released her hand. "I'm sorry, I-"

"Stop. It's what she wants."

She remembered another overheard conversation, and Edér's suggestion to feign unconsciousness. She was almost tempted.

"Morning," she mumbled, opening an eye.

Edér leaned over to kiss her. "You sleep alright?" he asked.

She nodded, giving him a small smile. How shallow the heart truly was, to mitigate some of the pain of a crisis of the soul so quickly - simply because a man she loved had held her hand through the night. But Aloth was right, she would earn her forgiveness and make amends for what she had done. It would hurt for a long time, as well it should. But she would learn from this. She had to.

She slid out from the bed and sat on the floor beside Aloth, taking his hand once more. Then she pulled Edér down to join them, placing her other hand in his.

She felt complete. Misshapen, hurting, and fragile - but complete.


	27. Hollowborn

The road back to Caed Nua had mostly been quiet and pensive.

"Have any of you ever seen a Hollowborn child?" Seluna asked, suddenly compelled to break the silence.

Kana shook his head.

"I once saw a dead child in the wilderness," Aloth said. "I assumed."

Edér took a deep breath, his expression becoming uncharacteristically somber. "Been more than a few in the Vale. Didn't see most of 'em with my own eyes, but... there's at least one that sticks out." He trailed off into silence.

"Is it... as awful as it sounds?" she asked.

He nodded slowly. "Reminded me of things I saw during the war. No living thing should... feel like that."

As a godlike, Seluna had always known that she would never bear children. That had once merely been a disappointment, but with each passing year it stang more. She yearned to pass on her father's gentleness and her mother's wisdom to a child of her own, particularly now that her parents were gone. As someone accustomed to dipping in and out of various people's lives, having meaningful connections with all, but only in a very particular, self-contained fashion, she yearned to be the centre and foundation of someone's world. But now, for the first time in her life, Seluna considered that she might actually be lucky to have been spared the chance of creating, loving and grieving a soul-less child.

"It must be hard," she said. "To see your child like that. And then rather than rallying around you with love and support, the community casts you out, perhaps killing your child. Perhaps even killing you. It's just so needlessly cruel."

"It is," Aloth agreed. Edér nodded slowly, his attention still somewhere far away.

"Eothas didn't do this," she said. "He couldn't. He'd never."

Nobody vocalised agreements to that one. But she would make them see. That's what she was here to do, after all.

"I'm looking forward to returning to Caed Nua and seeing what progress has been made!" Kana enthused, perhaps in an attempt to lighten the mood. "And what secrets lie beneath its halls, of course."

"I might be able to check in, actually," Seluna said. "The Steward mentioned that the connection we share could be accessed over great distances."

"Truly? Well, why not give it a try?"

His boundless excitement was contagious, and Seluna couldn't help but give in to the smile tugging at the corners of her lips. She snaked an arm around Edér's in case the communion robbed her of her other senses or faculties and then reached out, searching for the texture of the Steward's soul. She found it almost immediately, and happily seemed able to still walk and see as she opened herself to the connection.

_"My Lady! How goes your quest?"_

"It's good to hear your voice again," Seluna said out loud.

_"Yours as well."_

"To answer your question... things didn't go well. Lord Raedric is dead. Another thing I have to atone for. But Kolsc now commands the Vale, and it seems he intends to be an ally to us."

_"I see."_

"How are things at the Keep? You have better news, I hope?"

_"Indeed! News is spreading, and new hands are arriving every day. The roofs have been patched and work has started on proper repairs. Brighthollow has been thoroughly cleaned, and new beds should be arriving any day now."_

"How big?" she asked, stealing a glance at Aloth and Edér.

_"A suitably grand bed for the Master of Caed Nua, and then standard double beds for the Brighthollow guest rooms. We are still drawing up plans for housing for the others that choose to live here. Does that please you, my Lady?"_

Seluna nodded before catching herself. "Very much," she added out loud. "Though please organise something comfortable for the others as soon as you can, my comfort is not more important than theirs. Anyone is welcome to use Brighthollow while things are getting set up, of course."

_"Understood, my Lady. I'm sure everyone will thank you for your kindness."_

"We're on our way back to you now. Should get there tomorrow."

_"We shall be ready to receive you."_

She felt the connection fade, and then relayed the conversation to the group. Kana helped the rest of the day pass with a much livelier mood as he quizzed her about her connection with the Steward and shared what history he knew of the Keep, as well as his theories about its nature. She was immensely glad of his presence, and of the welcome distraction he brought.


	28. A Haven from the Dark

A good number of people had been drawn to the Keep it seemed; some simply providing a temporary service but many others seeking something more permanent. Seluna gathered them all in the courtyard upon her return to make her first official address as Lady of the place. She'd been thinking long and hard on what she wanted to say. Now it was time to test the waters with the sermon she'd been working on.

"Things have been dark and difficult in the Dyrwood for a long time," she began. "But I would do all in my power to make this keep - our Caed Nua - a haven, a beacon in that darkness. All who are suffering under the misfortunes of the times are welcome here. All who have nowhere else to go, are welcome here."

She saw some appreciative nods from the crowd, and hoped they would all stay on board when they learned exactly what that meant.

"Many areas of the Dyrwood have become quite hostile to certain people, pitting group against group, belief against belief. And all that's brought is more misery. More distrust. More pain. For everyone."

She took a deep breath.

"I want Caed Nua to try something different. To be a place of community and healing, no matter what hand life has dealt you. We all deal with our pain in different ways, and I want there to be space for that here. If you find solace in the teachings of Eothas, you are welcome here. If, very understandably because of recent events, you want nothing to do with Eothas, you are welcome here. If you have birthed a Hollowborn child, you are welcome here. Whether you made the choice to end your child's suffering, or whether you are holding onto hope that one day they will be whole again. You are welcome here."

People were looking around now, checking to see how others were reacting to her statements before committing to their own reactions. That uncertainty was good. If she simply continued on, setting the tone that this was nothing to be worked up about, there was a good chance they would simply follow suit.

"I truly believe we have the beginnings of something special here. And I'm grateful to have the chance to share that with all of you. Thank you for all the work you have done in my absence towards restoring our home. Please never hesitate to come to me if there's anything at all on your mind. Thank you."

She walked back over to her companions, signalling that her address was finished. The crowd buzzed with animated conversation before slowly dispersing, but she sensed no outright hostility amongst the myriad emotions being expressed.

"Um, 'scuse me! Miss!"

She turned and her heart swelled to see the youth that had accosted them on the road shyly approaching.

"It's good to see you again!" she reassured. "I didn't catch your name before?"

"Um, it's Dunstan. Sorry 'bout back then. I didn't know... We just wanted-"

"It's alright, I'm glad you're here now," she interrupted, smiling at him. Catching his glances, she pulled back her sleeve to show that her arm was undamaged. "No harm done. See?"

He nodded, still nervously avoiding her gaze. "I'll work hard. You won't be sorry you took me on."

"I know. I hope life will be comfortable for you here. We'll both do our best to make that happen, right?"

He nodded again, with more certainty this time. "Thank you. An' sorry again. Miss. Lady."

She chuckled. "Seluna's fine."

"Right, Lady Seluna. See you around, I guess."

He went back over to join one of the construction workers Kana had originally brought back. She was glad the boy had found someone to take him under their wing and help him carve a place for himself. She was glad that she had been right to reach out to him on the road. She was glad that despite everything, he was a reminder that Eothas' teachings would see her true if she could only keep to the path. And she knew that she would always be grateful to Dunstan for giving her that important reminder during such tumultuous times.


	29. A Thoughtful Gift

"Powerful words," Edér said as the trio walked towards Brighthollow. The beds hadn't arrived yet, but the simple privacy of four walls still felt like a luxury to Seluna these days so she was eager to return to them.

"You seem comfortable with public speaking," Aloth added.

"I used to give sermons at our church. Mum and Dad had me practicing from a young age." A smile bloomed across her face as she remembered. "I was about five years old the first time, actually. I insisted that I had something important to share, and the community kindly humoured me."

Edér laughed. "And what wisdom did little five-year-old Seluna have for everyone?"

She adopted a tone of importance, telling the story with the significance it deserved. "She was always an energetic, bouncing little girl, but she took her family's calling very seriously indeed. So in that moment she stood tall and proud, and doing her best to imitate the intonation and gesticulation of her parents... she warned everyone of the dangers of running too quickly down the hill, lest they fall and skin their knees. Skinned knees are painful to kneel on for praying, you see, so if we are serious about worshipping Eothas properly, we must all take good care of our knees."

Aloth had fallen into a contemplative silence, but Edér's laughter rang out once more. "I take it little Seluna was speaking from experience?" he asked, his shoulders still shaking.

"But of course. She had only learned this lesson for herself that morning, and wanted to spare the community from having to learn it in the same painful way she did."

"I look forward to hearing the Lady of Caed Nua's version. I think the people here have a right to this information too, keep them safe, you know?"

"Perhaps I should update my sermon for the times; 'Don't wander into any bîaŵacs, lest the loss of your sanity render you useless to any God.'"

"And leave them without the chance to scare their friends with their strange trances and crazy dreams?"

"They'll just have to find other ways to bond with each other."

Edér chuckled and opened the door to the master room for her, letting her and Aloth enter first.

As soon as they were behind closed doors, Aloth pulled something out of his pocket and began turning it in his fingers. Seluna tilted her head quizzically at him. He took a breath and said, "I thought it might be best to wait until we got back, so you could have some space if you needed. And to be honest, I don't know if this will even help or if it won't just cause more pain, but on the off chance that it might... it's... I asked Kolsc to help me find something."

Falling silent again, he held out his hand to reveal a metal symbol of the Dawnstars, edges curled and frayed by flame.

She took it from him, her heart stopping. She slowly lowered to her knees, holding the now warped and unfamiliar shape to her chest.

How hungry the flames were. They'd taken so much and still they were not satisfied. Her father's easy laugh. Her mother's hand on her shoulder, squeezing proudly. A necklace bestowed on a young daughter, determined to follow in her parents' footsteps.

She folded, her head coming to rest on her knees. She'd tried to make it right, tried to help. But in that most crucial moment, she had not just failed but had killed a man. How stupid she'd been to think that she could fix this. That she could do anything at all.

A hand rested on her back, coaxing her onto her side and interrupting the dark thoughts that had been bouncing off of each other and scattering through her mind. "C'mon," Edér murmured, and she curled up against his thigh, nuzzling into his hand as he brought it over to stroke her hair. "You're like a little cat," he chuckled. She turned her head and her tongue darted out, the tip briefly licking one of his fingertips. She smiled as Edér's chuckle grew appreciatively and he began scratching behind her ears.

"Aloth?" she asked the space behind her.

"I'm here."

"Thank you for thinking to look for this. I'm glad to have it back."

He exhaled a shaky sigh, and she regretted that it had taken her so long to find her words.

He moved around into her field of view and sat down in front of her, their hands instinctively reaching for and finding each other.

"You gonna lick him too?" Edér asked.

"Please don't," Aloth said, the corners of his mouth lifting in a small strained smile. "Seluna, I know none of that went the way you wanted, but..." he sighed. "I don't even know what I'm trying to say really, just, I'm glad we're all home safe."

Home. The three of them were home. She smiled. "Me too."


	30. A Family In Need

Splintered bones. Exhausted wails. Eyeless pits. No less than they all deserve.

_"My Lady!"_

Seluna's eyes snapped open and she instinctively trained her ears on the sounds of the men breathing beside her, allowing reality to fade back in.

_"My Lady, I apologise for waking you."_

She sat up, pulling her limbs out of the comfortable cocoons Aloth and Edér had made for them. The new bed had been accommodating the three of them nicely.

"What's wrong?" she whispered.

_"A woman has just arrived, and she is refusing to speak to or receive comfort from anyone other than you. I thought you would prefer to be notified, but I apologise if I was mistaken."_

"No, no. You're quite right. I'm on my way."

\---

The elven woman was thin and trembling, clothes frayed and dirtied from a long time spent outdoors and a cloth pack held tightly to her chest. She had a child with her, a tiny little girl that hid behind her knees and clutched tightly to her legs.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, I'm Seluna. What's your name?" she asked as she approached.

The woman spun round to face her, but her eyes never lingered on one face for long in their hurried rounds of the room. "They say it's safe here," she rasped, licking cracked lips.

Seluna nodded. "You have my word, no one will harm you. Or the little one."

The woman's fingers tightened on her pack, knuckles turning white.

"Leave us alone, please," Seluna asked everyone lingering. "We'll be alright."

Once everyone had dispersed, she sat down on the floor and gestured for the woman to join her. She was unsurprised when the offer went untaken, but the little girl chose to plant herself down, peeking at her from between the woman's legs. She had the most beautiful hazel-brown eyes. And a tangled mat of blonde hair.

"You two have been alone for a while," Seluna said, and then she waited patiently.

"The Dyrwood's gone mad," the woman finally said. "Nowhere's safe."

Seluna nodded sympathetically. "I arrived here myself for the first time a month or so ago, and I've certainly felt that. That's why I'm trying to make something different here."

"You're foreign?"

"Aedyran. I know that doesn't make me popular around these parts."

"They aren't friendly to anyone anymore," the woman scowled. "And, they say that Aedyran folks are supposed to be proper, and polite. Not all the talk is bad."

"The current times are most _insistently_ impolite, but I do try my best," Seluna joked in a more stereotypical Aedyran accent, mocking herself.

The corners of the woman's mouth twitched and she sat down on the floor, obviously relieved to be off her feet and able to rest her pack's weight in her lap. The little girl stood up again to bury her fingers in the woman's hair, grasping fistfuls and hiding her face in it. The woman accepted these ungentle attentions without complaint.

"What's your name?" Seluna asked again.

"Eirdis."

"How about you?" she asked the girl in a higher, brighter voice. "What's your name?"

A hesitant voice emerged. "Ylfa."

"That's a pretty name. How old are you?"

Ylfa kept her face hidden but shyly raised three fingers.

Eirdis twisted round and said, "That's only three, lovely. One more."

Ylfa giggled and started rapidly flicking her fingers, different numbers raised each time.

"She keeps changing age!" Seluna gasped. "That's incredible!" She dropped her voice to a stage whisper. "Do you think she can control time?"

Ylfa began cackling loudly then and jumped out from behind Eirdis. "Yes! I can!"

"Sit nice, sweetheart. Mummy's tired."

"And hungry, I imagine?" Seluna asked.

Eirdis nodded uneasily.

"I've asked for food to be brought along. I'll get it from the door though, so we can eat in peace, just the three of us," she said, knowing that the Steward would pass that along and make sure everything went smoothly.

"Four of us!" Ylfa giggled, holding up the right number of fingers this time.

"Oh? Who else are you hiding?" Seluna laughed, thinking it to be another game of imagination. But then she noticed that Eirdis had frozen completely still, knuckles white against her pack once more.

_No._

"Are you... is that a baby?" she asked. Praying that if it was, then it wasn't-

Eirdis began to cry, picking up the bundle and cradling it to her chest. "Please don't hurt him," she whimpered.

"Never," Seluna promised. "I swear I will do everything in my power to keep him safe."

"My brother's sick," Ylfa said, her tiny face carrying far too much sorrow for one so young.

"Can I see him?" Seluna knew that what followed would depend entirely on how she reacted in this moment. She was likely to feel shock, horror, revulsion even. But she couldn't let any of that show. She had encouraged and hoped for these poor babies to find their way here, where she could keep them safe. The wrong reaction from her now would drive this sweet family away and back out into a world that would kill them.

Tears still streaming down her face, Eirdis began to unwrap the bundle and tilt the contents toward her... _Be strong. Be calm. Be still. Be-_ ...and revealed the tiny body that had the whole of the Dyrwood frothing into madness. The dead, glassy-eyed stare turned her stomach. The listless, almost mechanical rise and fall of the chest made her skin crawl. And her Watcher's senses bristled at this empty, person-shaped void. But forcing through that, past that, she could see a cute little button nose. A soft tuft of fuzzy blonde hair. Five tiny little fingers poking out of the cloth wrapping, limp and lifeless, but with five perfect little fingernails.

"He's beautiful," she whispered honestly, "and so small. Look!" she gestured to Ylfa. "He has your brown eyes and golden hair. He's going to grow up to look just like you."

"Is he ever going to get better?" the little girl asked, her voice quiet and shy again.

"I don't know. But we're going to love him and look after him no matter what, right?"

Ylfa nodded forcefully. "He's my little brother. It's my job to portect him."

"Well if you ever need an assistant, you can always call on me, okay?"

_"Food is waiting just outside. When you find the right time, that is."_

Seluna nodded in acknowledgement, and saw to it that everybody could eat their fill before setting them up in a comfortable room in Brighthollow.

Then she returned to her own room with renewed determination in her heart. Nothing was going to harm that little boy.


	31. A Growing Community

"A new family arrived in the night," Seluna explained to her companions in the morning. "They're staying in Brighthollow for now, and they have a hollowborn child. It's very important to me that they are welcomed and kept safe."

"You'll hear no disagreement from us," Aloth said, and Edér nodded emphatically. "This is what you wanted, isn't it? I'm glad that word is travelling."

"Me too," she smiled, opening the door to head down for breakfast. The sound of scampering feet was followed by a squeal of delight as Ylfa barrelled into her shins and began smacking her legs.

"Good morning!" Seluna said, lifting the girl and sitting her on her hip. Ylfa began cackling and immediately threw herself backwards in an attempt to dangle upside-down while Seluna scrambled not to drop her. "This wonderful little handful is Ylfa!" she said, entirely in love.

"She looks like trouble!" Edér grinned appreciatively.

"And this is my assistant!" Ylfa announced as she scrambled onto Seluna's shoulders, kneeing her in the chin as she passed.

It took Seluna a while to join the dots, but then, "That's right! I did offer my services last night, didn't I. So I got the job?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Excellent! I won't let you down, boss!"

Seluna ate her morning meal with Ylfa sitting astride her shoulders and yanking on her horns. Eirdis joined them at the table, her son still tucked away in the worn old pack she cradled on her lap. She tried to apologise for Ylfa's boisterousness, but after assurances that it was not minded at all she began to joke and express appreciation that someone else was getting beat up for once. Edér seemed keen to get in on the fun, but Ylfa hadn't made up her mind about him yet and shuffled away from him whenever he came close. Aloth simply looked on from a healthy distance, seeming unsure whether to be amused or concerned about the new screeching bundle of chaos they'd acquired.

But everyone soon settled into the new rhythm, and Caed Nua's grounds became brighter and more joyful for Ylfa's presence. As Eirdis slowly learned to trust again, she became comfortable with letting her daughter have free run of the place, knowing that there were multiple pairs of eyes and hands around to keep her safe. Her son, Bersi, was still glued to her wherever she went, but he was now bundled into a more comfortable shawl that was wrapped around her torso, giving her use of her arms back. People had stared at first, curious, nervous, hoping to catch a glimpse of the strange child. But Eirdis kept him tucked away, and nobody had been inconsiderate enough to push the matter. Following Seluna's example, the community was treating Eirdis well, eager to make her feel at home and pass on the same welcome they had found here. Eothas' light shone from every face, gleaming through the warm smiles and new friendships forming.

Rooms in the main keep had been repurposed into homes, and some simple wooden houses were also in the process of being erected outwith the walls for those who preferred something more traditional. Seluna wondered if she was witnessing the birth of a new village, or a town even. That so many were attracted to her vision of cooperation and tolerance filled her with hope that healing truly was possible in the Dyrwood. All she had to do was nurture what she had started here, and then she knew it would spread and ripple out across this battered country with a life of its own, in ways both big and small.


	32. Getting Worse

Seluna was yanked back into consciousness by a hand firmly jostling her shoulder. She groaned and slapped the hand away. Whoever it was attached to was about to dearly regret their actions. "She's awake!" Aloth breathed in relief. Edér's hand returned, this time attempting to smooth her hair out of her eyes. It clung stubbornly to her face. She was drenched with sweat again. She sighed, and sat up.

"I woke you," she mumbled unhappily, reaching for the towel she always kept by her bedside and turning her back on them to stick it down the front of her nightdress, wiping where the sweat had pooled in her armpits and between her breasts. She was sick of this.

"You were shaking," Edér said after a moment. "Thrashing about. Didn't know you had such a mean swing on you!"

She turned back to him. He was joking around but she could see the concern in his eyes. She must have really scared him this time.

"It was like you were having some kind of fit," Aloth added. "It lasted for quite a while. How are you feeling?"

"Not great," she admitted. "But no worse than usual. I don't remember what I was dreaming about. More of the same, surely. But... it looks like I'm getting worse?"

They both nodded solemly.

_No sleep for the Watcher._

She sighed again and hid her face in her hands. Her eyes prickled and threatened but her tears stayed within and simply stoked a headache instead.

Edér pulled her against him for a hug, and Aloth tentatively brushed his fingers against her own. She leaned into both of those comforts and breathed.

"What do we do?" she eventually asked, her voice catching.

"We need more information," Aloth said in calm, deliberate tones. "About Awakenings. About the Leaden Key."

"Where can we find that?" she asked, trying to match his calm.

"I imagine Defiance Bay would be the best place to start. It's Dyrwood's capital after all, and the closest thing this country has to actual civilisation. If anywhere-" He cut off.

Edér chuckled. "If that's civilisation, you're welcome to keep it, Aedyran. But I reckon you're right. Could be answers there. Want me to go see about getting some things together?"

She nodded, withdrawing from his embrace and letting him go. But his hand cupped the back of her head to pull her back in for a kiss by the ear. "We got this, don't you worry," he said, and then he left.

After a few more breaths, Seluna rose to light her candle and pray. She sat cross-legged before it, closed her eyes, and reminded herself to be grateful for everything that was going well, everything that she had started at Caed Nua. Even if she was to die tomorrow, her legacy, _His_ legacy, would live on in the pocket of light she had started here. She could be satisfied with that. Couldn't she? But then, death wasn't really what she was afraid of, was it? Her lip trembled. She clenched her jaw to make it be still. No, what she feared was Maerwald's madness. Everyone here had seen enough sorrow for one lifetime. The thought of adding to that, of breaking where they could all see, that's what really scared her. And the monster that she had been in ages past, that's what scared her most of all. She was scared of what that woman would do if she Awoke further. Afraid of who she'd hurt. Afraid of everything she'd undo. Her lip trembled again. What if bringing so many together like this had been a mistake, had only put them all in danger?

She curled her fingers around her warped symbol. "I will fight this as long as I can," she murmured, "but I'm afraid. I don't want to be a burden or a danger to anyone. I want to serve. I want to see this community grow. I know so many people need You, now more than ever, but... please do what You can to guide me through this so I don't undo all Our good work. I am Your humble servant. Please help me to serve."

She stayed a few more moments, welcoming the relief that always followed every communion with her God. He loved her and would watch over her. If Berath was to come for her, she had to trust that Eothas would do His part to make the transition a gentle one. She was trying her best, and He knew that. He knew that.

She opened her eyes. Aloth was pouring over his grimoire, frowning in concentration. She returned to his side and his hand found hers, absent-mindedly playing with her fingers as he finished the passage he was reading.

"Tell me about Defiance Bay," she asked when he looked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are we... finally going to make it out of Act 1? Stay tuned to find out! XD Seriously though, this is turning out to be a LOT of words, so thank you to everyone who's still sticking with me and Seluna this far. We both love you all.


	33. Setting Out

As part of Caed Nua's many recent developments, it was now in possession of a simple horse and cart. Seluna was glad of the convenience as she prepared to set out once more. She'd done enough walking to last anyone a lifetime. The Steward had promised to keep everything running smoothly in her absence, though in truth, the stonebound woman had been the one running pretty much everything from the beginning anyway. So Seluna had no doubts that the Keep was in good hands, and that she'd be quickly notified of any problems that arose thanks to the unique soul connection she had with the place. Blessings upon blessings to be grateful for.

An assortment of adventurers had recently been assembled too, and Kana was positively giddy to be accompanying them underground in search of his ancient tablet. He'd disappeared below with them a couple of days prior, and Seluna hoped she'd return before he did to share in the excitement of any new discoveries. But most of all she hoped that he was okay down there, beyond the Steward's sight.

There was certainly a lot going on of late, she mused, as she walked with Ylfa to where the cart waited. The girl's family now had comfortable quarters of their own within the Keep, though they still joined Seluna for breakfast at Brighthollow each morning, a tradition which she greatly appreciated.

"You know, Ylfa?"

"What?" the girl answered quietly, clearly feeling the weight of the impending goodbye.

"I don't think we've given the new horse a name yet."

Her eyes widened gleefully at the challenge. A second passed, then, "Flower," she said with a confident finality.

"Oh that's a beautiful name! Like all the beautiful flowers growing in Caed Nua!"

"No, silly! Not that flower! Like cakes and bread!"

"Oh, _flour!_ Sorry, I misunderstood. Because the horse has white speckles?"

Ylfa nodded proudly.

"It's perfect!"

Seluna and Aloth settled themselves within the cart while Edér gleefully hopped in the front and took Flour's reins, patting her neck fondly as he passed. He'd been over pestering the horse every day since she'd arrived, and thankfully it seemed as though his friendship had been well received.

Ylfa waved them off as they began clopping away, jumping around in her own galloping impression that had the guards chuckling.

"Look after the place while I'm gone, boss!" Seluna called back to her.

"Yes! I'M THE BOSS!" she screeched at the top of her lungs.

"That's right," Seluna whispered, smiling back at the girl. "Be safe."


	34. The Defiant City

"Oh wow, that's a... interesting smell," Seluna said as the cart crossed the bridge into the city.

"That's the scent of civilisation," Edér winked.

"It really isn't," Aloth countered.

They found a stable to leave Flour with and took stock of the crowded city streets. So many of the people filling them looked too thin. Clothes hanging off them, eyes that wouldn't be out of place on a stray dog clinging to survival in an alleyway. Tired kith that had endured too much for too long. And so many of them were staring at her openly as she passed.

"Am I making people uncomfortable?" she muttered, keeping her voice low so as not to offend.

"Hmm? Oh, don't know if you've noticed, but your skin kinda glows. Was gonna say something about it sooner, but..." Edér grinned, but then sobered when he saw that she wasn't smiling back. "People didn't stare back home? Guess everyone's used to it in Caed Nua."

"People were used to it there too," she explained, embarrassed that she had forgotten what she was. She pressed a hand to her symbol, tucked under her tunic at Aloth's recommendation. It wasn't a deception, not really. Maybe if she told herself that enough times the itch of it would leave her skin.

"Shall we find an inn and establish ourselves?" Aloth suggested.

"Base of operations, on it!" Edér said, striding over to a nearby guard to get some recommendations.

"Are you alright?" Aloth asked her, moving closer but not too close.

"Mmmm... Bit overwhelmed. I'll be okay."

"We'll find somewhere more private. Catch our breath."

"I'd like that."

"Alright, we're looking for The Fox and Goose, should be along this way!" Edér beckoned them over.

They pressed through the swathes of people and the din of vendors calling out their wares when suddenly she was racing her brother up the tree, and for the first time she was _winning!_

"You doing your thing again?" Edér asked. "That's not gonna make people stare any less."

She blinked, clearing the invading memory from her mind and scanning the crowd for lingering souls. But there were none to be found. Odd. If there were no souls then why... but of course there _were_ souls! She intentionally refocused her senses, and sure enough, the sea of kith around her began to glow with hundreds of flickering candles. She suddenly felt small and adrift, with nowhere to hide.

Then Edér was at her side, holding her by the elbow and steering her through the waves. She stood before the comforting heat of the forge, walked the streets of Old Vailia. Picking berries with her children. Snapping a dislocated bone back into place. _Mother's perfume._

Her mother? No, someone else's. But did that matter? The familiar vice clenched around her heart regardless. She hunched in on herself, bracing against the swirl of moments and memories as she pressed forward.

\---

After some time of sitting in a ball on the floor of their newly acquired room and breathing, Seluna felt herself seep back into her body.

"Okay, I think it's passed," she said.

"What was that all about?" Edér asked. "Where'd you go?"

"There's a lot of souls here."

"Dead folk?"

"Apparently the ones people are still wearing can pull me in too."

Edér pulled a face. "Couldn't you have said it any less creepy?"

She smiled. "At least I made it to this inn conscious. That's an improvement on the last time." She turned to Aloth.

"I remember," he said, not smiling.

She stayed in the room while the men scouted the city for useful leads, slowly letting herself become accustomed to the noise. When she was feeling brave, she'd stand by the open window and Watch. Just as she could intentionally pick out the souls, she found she could also make efforts to unfocus, allowing them to pass her by without grabbing her in their currents. It did require effort - the kind that would likely give her a headache if she pushed herself for too long. But it could be done, and perhaps this was a muscle she could strengthen. She could do this.


	35. The Sanitarium

"So it seems that the Brackenbury Sanitarium's where we want to go if we want to learn more about our Awakenings," Seluna said after hearing Edér and Aloth's findings from their first exploration of the city.

Aloth's mouth frowned in distaste. "Animancers."

"Yes. I don't know that I've ever met one. Living, at least," she amended, remembering the dwarf woman. "Unpleasant stories tend to follow in their wake. But I'd be interested to see what kind of people they are for myself."

"I have," Aloth said. "They meddle with things they don't understand and the results are often catastrophic. I am not particularly comfortable with the idea of one meddling with me."

"I'm only intending on a conversation," she clarified. "I would want much more information before consenting to a meddling myself."

Edér snorted, his eyes twinkling. "You guys do what you gotta do. I won't judge."

Aloth sighed and Seluna pushed Edér's arm. "Not interested in a good meddling then?" she asked him playfully.

"Tempting, but was thinking of going and poking around in the city records. See if I can find out more about what happened to my brother. Why don't you two go do your thing, and the three of us can meet back here after."

"Are you sure you're okay to go by yourself?" she asked. "What if the news isn't what you want to hear?"

"Then you'll find me back here drowning my sorrows in whatever cheap ale they've got," he winked. "I'll be alright though. I'm a big boy."

\---

Aloth quietly followed her lead through the city and into the wealthier Brackenbury district, pointing the way from behind. The souls were everywhere, but she mostly managed to keep her face above the water. Any that did grab her only had her entangled for mere moments as she developed a habit of blinking and rechecking with every breath, reorientating herself with every step that met cobbled pavement. Choosing to be _here. Now._

Aloth broke his silence with a sigh as they came upon the picturesque brick building that was their destination. His eyes lingered on the barred windows.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" he asked.

"I don't know if we'll gain anything of use," she answered, blinking, checking, "but there's little risk in just asking around. Worst case scenario it's just a waste of time."

The set of Aloth's jaw suggested that he had other worst case scenarios in mind, but they were both here together and neither would let harm come to the other. He had to know that.

They entered the building and made enquiries, eventually being pointed downstairs to seek someone called Bellasege.

So down they went, away from the hustle and bustle of the main lobby and towards blissfully quiet corridors of individual offices. Snippets of conversation floated from some as they passed. Her head turned to one door as she overheard, "This man's soul was torn asunder by a bîaŵac." She stopped. "As you can see, the patient is unresponsive, common after soul trauma." The sound of something being lifted from wood. "A portion of his soul was recovered near his body. We used this stone as a vessel for transfer." A pause. "Can you hear me, Oswin? Unfortunately the extended dissociation has permanent side effects." Grunts. Inhuman moans. The sound of someone straining against restraints.

Seluna balled her hands into fists and continued down the corridor, putting some distance between herself and the sounds of the broken man, unease filling her belly.

Aloth fell back into step beside her and his hand squeezed around hers briefly. "Let's find some answers, shall we?"


	36. An Animancer's Insight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning - Child Abuse (as appears in game)

Bellasege turned out to be a typically expressive Vailian woman, and Seluna could see that her passionate outbursts and attempts at humour were grating against Aloth's efforts for calm. His jaw was clenched, and he fidgeted around on the couch they had been sat at. To see his discomfort so visibly, Seluna knew that he had to be screaming inside. She subtly shifted her weight closer to him, hoping that he'd feel that in the slope of the couch cushions.

"Is there any information or advice you could give him on the nature of his Awakening?" Seluna asked. It seemed that Aloth's condition was the only one that matched Bellasege's research interests, but she hoped to learn something useful from the visit all the same.

"Well first I'd need to examine his soul." Bellasege pulled out various sizes of copper bands and leant forward to begin attaching them to Aloth who immediately tensed up and pulled away from her. Seluna put an arm out between them and Bellasege drew back, confused.

"What do those do?" Seluna asked.

"Take measurements. Read the composition of his soul. They only record what is already there, they don't affect change in and of themselves. Completely harmless, I assure you."

Seluna looked to Aloth. "What do you think?"

His brows drew together. "If it really is harmless..."

Bellasege gleefully resumed her preparations, ducking around Seluna's arm before any further concerns could be expressed. She secured and tightened a band around each of Aloth's wrists, and then one around the top of his head. The whites of his eyes were expanding marginally. Seluna shuffled even closer to him.

_I'm here._

Then Bellasege began wielding a scope of sorts, examining Aloth through it. "Now! Tell me about your life before you Awakened. I'll make some adjustments and then we'll see about finding our cunning interloper!"

"There's nothing to tell. I was just a normal child living in the Cythwood." He looked to Seluna with a face that would appear controlled to most, but she knew him and she could see the anxiety radiating from him.

And then within the anxiety, beyond it, she could see something else. Something that alternated between agitated writhing and a forced stillness. A soul, she suddenly realised. Aloth's soul.

"Can you share something about your memories of home?" she prompted, drawing back from the pull of his essence and how invasive it felt to be pressing up against it. But out of the corner of her senses, she saw, felt her voice's origins within her chest and throat, Watching it travel between them, its contact with Aloth reverberating through his core and softening the conflict there. His eyes closed, and she wondered what she had just done to him.

But then he began to speak, eyes still shut, sharing the story of his childhood. He spoke of always being vigilant, always mindful of his father's moods. The little details that would signal impending danger.

"This is good!" Bellasege interrupted excitedly. I'm starting to see... something. Now tell us about your Awakening." Seluna wondered if they were truly hearing the same story.

"The first blow takes me by surprise," Aloth said, in a tone one would use to recite sentences in lessons. "One moment I am sweeping the kitchen, the next I am sprawled on the ground, stupidly looking at flecks of my blood on the tile. His boots, glistening with fresh polish, thud across the floor. He kicks me in the stomach, and I curl up to shield my vitals. But it's pointless. Protecting one thing only leaves something else exposed."

He continued describing the traumatic experience, his eyes closed, his voice calm. Seluna's nails dug into her palms and her teeth were clenched so hard that her head was beginning to hurt, but it was taking everything she had to keep her hands away from him. Anger uncoiled itself within her rib cage, uncomfortable as it was unfamiliar.

A shiver ran through him, a change. "Madiccho! He's hypnotised himself with his old memory. You've got to bring him out of it. Quickly, I almost have it!"

Without hesitation, Seluna took his hand. "You're safe. I'm here."

His eyes flew open, defiant and willful. "He's nere safe when I hap upon him."

\---

Seluna spent some time mediating a conversation of sorts between Aloth and Iselmyr while Bellasege made largely unhelpful comments in the background. Iselmyr claimed that Aloth needed her to protect him, but Aloth of course resented that she was taking choice and control away from him. As their bickering continued, Iselmyr's descriptions of her experience made it seem that she was being drawn out by the sensations of Aloth's fear when situations were getting tense. The point where Bellasege began excitedly sharing her theories of bile being responsible for Aloth's situation was the point at which he had had enough, removing the copper bands and standing to leave.

"Thank you for your help," Seluna said in an attempt to soften their abrupt parting. "I think that's given us plenty to think about for now."

"I should be the one thanking you! I finally have material worth publishing. You'll be the toast of Revua, Fentre Aloth," Bellasege all but sang as she returned to examining the current settings of her scope.

Aloth's queasy silence was only broken by the occasional dark chuckle from Iselmyr. Seluna struggled to hide her discomfort at the incongruity of the two operators of his body, and the violation he must feel every time she emerged. Something had to be done about this. Someone somewhere must have answers.

She turned to leave, just in time to see Aloth slipping the animancer's notes into his cloak. He caught her looking and raised a finger to his lips, eyes pleading for her silence. For her deception.

Taking a deep breath, she turned and walked from the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of this chapter's events and dialogue were pretty much lifted from the game, but it felt like a really key scene so I wanted to include it. Next chapter will be completely my own nonsense again, and I am very much looking forward to it.


	37. A Small Indulgence

They paid to use a room at a nearby inn for an hour to collect their thoughts before returning to Edér at The Goose and Fox, and the innkeep winked at them as he handed them the key.

"Seluna-" Aloth began as soon as the door was shut, but she raised a hand to stop him.

"I need to do something first." She rummaged through her bag with frantic hands and pulled out a candle and a stick to place it on. She fumbled for her matchbox and hastily lit the candle, placing it on the floor in the centre of the room and kneeling down before it.

She clasped her hands in prayer and quickly muttered, "I know that I helped to deceive that poor woman. I know that You will forgive me as You forgive all, but I swear to You that I do not take this lightly. I will contemplate the actions I took today thoroughly and seriously, I promise You. I have spared my friend pain and helped him on his path, but I denied that woman the same kindness. I see that and I am sorry. I will strive to do better."

She remained kneeling for a while longer, feeling and exploring the full weight of the shame that she had invited upon herself. She had made the decision and so it was her responsibility to bear the consequences without flinching. But she was also learning that life was nuanced and that the right path was not always as clear as she'd thought. This moment would prove to be a lesson for her one way or another if she could be open to its teachings.

Slowly, she straightened, lifting the candlestick and placing it on the bedstand. The flame continued to shine brightly and reassuringly. She exhaled. Aloth reached for her hand and she gratefully nestled her fingers between his own.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't intend to put you in such a difficult situation. I realise now that I was asking a lot of you."

Her eyes burned but she impatiently blinked the tears away. "Eothas understands. You've brought me so much comfort every day since we first met, I'll be fine. Let me comfort you for once. Today is for you." She turned to take his other hand too.

He accepted her touch but said nothing.

"The story you shared... everything you've been through... I just want you to be safe and happy." She couldn't get the image of him crumpled on the floor out of her head. But she had to, or else the nightmares would feast upon it.

He began delicately playing with her fingers. "I feel safe and happy right now, with you."

She look down at their entwined hands, smiling shyly. "Then it was worth it."

He extricated one hand and cupped her chin with it, pulling her gaze back up to meet his. Her heart swelled all the way up her throat and into her mouth, parting her lips. She knew her eyes asked the question, and he gave the slightest of nods in answer. So she brushed against his lips with the lightest of kisses.

He shivered, his hand still holding her chin. Then he pulled her closer and kissed her again, softly, carefully. Perfectly.


	38. A Big Disappointment

They found Edér back at The Fox and Goose, drowning his sorrows in whatever cheap ale they had, just as he had threatened.

Seluna pulled another chair over to the table he had his face buried into and rested a hand on his shoulder.

_I'm here._

"You look as through you had about as much success as we did," Aloth said, bringing his own chair over.

Without looking up, Edér pushed the remains of his tankard in Aloth's general direction.

"I'm quite alright, thank you," Aloth said, his hand darting out to hover by the offering to catch it should it topple over.

Seluna gave Edér's shoulder a squeeze. She wasn't used to seeing him miserable... at all, she realised. It felt as wrong as the sun vanishing from the sky, and she felt the compulsion to do what she could to snatch that brightness back, snap him out of it. But that's not what he needed right now.

"Shall we go upstairs?" she asked.

"S'pose," he sighed, lazily lifting an arm.

She grasped that arm and steadied him as he rose and then lurched into her, wrapping his arms around her and pressing a kiss into the side of her neck. Her eyes did an awkward round of the room, wincing at every person they made contact with. But she pressed her hands into his back and stayed with him.

"Come on," she soothed, "let's get you upstairs."

He took her hand and kept a firm grip on it as they crossed the room and then ascended to the upper level. She gripped him back, intentionally drowning out all the faces around her as she'd already been tuning out their souls. Many were looking but this wasn't about them. It wasn't about her either.

Aloth unlocked their room and Seluna sat Edér on the edge of the bed. He reached for her and she climbed into his lap, holding his face back in place against her neck and brushing her fingers through his hair. He nuzzled against her and sighed.

"You didn't find the information you were looking for?" she asked gently.

"No, I did," he responded, holding her tighter. "He died in a battle by some Engwithan ruins, got the guy to write the name down, one of those damn Glanfathan names, but..."

She waited, stroking and holding.

"Says he fought for Readceras."

"You'd been worried about that," she said after a pause.

"Yeah... guess that means... Guess I might have been on the wrong side after all. Guess I... I wasn't there for my god when he needed me."

"You don't know that," she murmured. "Nobody knows what really happened during the War."

"But... Woden always knew what was right. Always knew the right thing to do. You-" His voice caught. "You remind me of him sometimes. A lot." He sighed. "He would've had a good reason for what he did. Just wish I knew what it was. But, I guess that's that."

She squeezed him close. "I'm so sorry. Still having questions must make things harder."

He just sighed again in answer, and she untangled herself enough to draw back, pulling his face up with her hands, burying her fingers in his beard. He looked so... lost.

_I will guide you. _

She lifted one of his hands to her cheek and leant in to kiss him.

_Eothas sent me to be here with you. To comfort you just as you have comforted me._

He poured himself into the kiss, clutching at her, and she did her best to give him whatever salvation she was capable of.

_I'm here._


	39. Hangover Cure

Edér passed out pretty quickly that night, the quantity of alcohol he'd downed clearly giving him the escape he had been seeking. For once it had been Seluna's turn to soothe someone to sleep, and that had felt good. To be the one needed, rather than the one needing.

Her work done, she turned away to find a comfortable position to settle herself down in. Even in his sleep Edér clung to her as she shifted, ending up with an arm snaked around her waist and his face pressed into the space between her shoulder blades.

Aloth was lying on his back watching the ceiling, but he titled his head to meet her once she'd settled in his direction. "How are you doing?" he whispered.

"Fine, why?" she whispered back.

He turned onto his side to face her directly. "We're both being rather a handful for you today."

"Don't be silly," she replied, reaching up to push some of his hair back from his face and then finding her fingers lingering there against his cheek. "Maybe it's selfish of me to say, but I've had quite a good day, actually."

"Then... I'm glad." He turned to brush his lips against the inside of her palm, and then he closed his fingers around hers and brought her hand down to rest between them. "Perhaps we should discuss things with Edér before continuing though."

"I don't think he'll be terribly surprised or concerned, but if it makes you feel more comfortable, let's definitely do that."

"Thank you. For... a lot of things."

"Like what?" she grinned.

"Like coming with me today. It was a mess, but, I'm glad you were there."

"Always," she smiled, and then closed her eyes to sleep, Aloth's hand tucked in hers and Edér snuggled around her waist.

\---

It was Edér's pained groaning that woke them all up the next morning.

"Definitely had a few last night, didn't I," he said, sitting up and rubbing his temples.

"C'mere," Seluna yawned, sitting up to circle her arms around him. She loved this man, and so the light sprang from her touch almost of its own accord as she pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"Woah! Did you just... Heh. That's one heck of a cure." He drew back to look at her, his eyes sparkling. "Where've you been all my life?"

"Edér!" Iselmyr cried, slapping his arm. "The lad got some action last night! Ye missed it!"

"Action, eh?" he grinned.

"N-nothing untoward!" Aloth squeaked as he re-emerged. "Just a... kiss."

"Glad to hear you're finally letting yourself have some fun," Edér smirked, slapping Aloth's arm back.

The poor man was rescued from any further teasing by a knock at the door. The three shared surprised looks. Then Aloth and Seluna scrambled to make sure they were presentable while Edér continued to lounge on the bed, watching them with amusement.

When the door was opened, a young man was standing there waiting patiently.

"Lady Watcher? Lady Webb is extending an invitation for you to come and see her at Hadret House, as soon as you are able," he said and then turned to leave.

"Wait, sorry, who?" Seluna called after him.

He turned back with a puzzled look. "Lady Webb. Runs Dunryd Row in Brackenbury. Mystery solving cipher network? No? Well, she wants to see you."

"She sounds like an interesting person," Seluna said.

"She sounds like a dangerous person," Aloth added.

"Well yes, she is. To both. But as long as you're not a threat to Defiance Bay, you've got nothing to worry about. Best not keep her waiting though."


	40. Placeholder

Still to write about the conversation with Lady Webb.  
The story continues from the next chapter.


	41. The Markets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while! Please enjoy this little bit of fluff of the Trio enjoying the sights of the city before heading back home to Caed Nua. I hope it tides you over until I can find the time and energy to get the ball rolling with this thing again. It's never far from my thoughts.

There were all sorts of stalls clustered in the square, with all sorts of delicious aromas drifting from them. Traders showed off veritable treasure troves of lovingly crafted items. Leather bags and carved wooden boxes and glass bottles of various tinctures and painted candles. A colourful jewellery stand quickly caught Seluna's eye, but she allowed her gaze to pass it over in search of something more relevant to everyone's tastes. Aloth, however, attentive as always, was onto her immediately.

"Shall we take a closer look?" he asked, tilting his head towards the array.

Eagerly stepping forward, she reached out to run a finger along a cluster of little pink stones dangling from an earring.

"Fine taste, my dear!" the stall-owner said approvingly, reaching for a small mirror. "One of my more recent pieces. Here, see how it looks!"

"They're lovely," Seluna breathed, carefully lifting the set from their stand and holding them up to her ears. "And you made them yourself?"

"That I did! And seeing them now, I think they were made just for you, don't you think? Made just for that lovely complexion of yours."

"That's so kind of you to say, but..." she looked back at her companions, "I really shouldn't be spending money on such things. I've got a lot of people to think about."

"Big family back home?"

"You could say that," she smiled.

"Oh I think the Lady of Caed Nua can afford to buy herself some shiny things, surely?" Edér said. "Gotta have you looking the part!"

"Lady?! Oh my goodness, I'd be honoured if you would wear my humble trinkets!"

"And no doubt the price just rose," Aloth scowled at Edér. "Regardless, he's right. You should buy yourself something nice."

"It's really alright?"

They both nodded at her, and she relented. But when the man tried to sell her a matching necklace she reluctantly but firmly held her ground.

"Don't forget to tell all your admirers where you got them!" the jeweller called cheerily as they left.

She liked the way they swayed and tapped against the sides of her neck as she walked, reminding her that they were there. Reminding her that she was pretty.

"Is there anything you two would like to buy?"

"You're holding the big purse," Edér joked.

"That's not really fair is it," she frowned. "I'll need to get the Steward to sort you both out with wages, for your many services to the Keep."

"We're more concerned about its Lady, but sure," Edér grinned.

"Here," she passed a decent handful of coins to each of them. "A taste of what awaits you should you pledge yourself to my service," she joked.

"Hard to think of many worthier causes," Edér grinned, drawing closer as if to kiss her before remembering and backing off again. But that distance, that respect, got her heart fluttering more than anything.

"I think I'll quickly purchase something I saw earlier," Aloth said. "You two continue on, I'll catch up."

Later that night, Edér set her giggling with ridiculous proclamations and oaths to follow her through increasingly improbable trials. Aloth waited until he was done before quietly slipping something into her hand.

The matching necklace.

She gently laid it down on the bed, gave him a look of 'you didn't have to do that', and grabbed the front of his tunic to pull him in for a kiss. He let out a surprised squeak, but kissed her back and rewarded her with one of his shy smiles when she pulled away.

"Could've told me we were buying presents," Edér pouted.

"I wanted it to be a surprise," Aloth explained, twisting the edge of his sash.

"You already gave me such a wonderful speech," Seluna laughed, but Edér kept his pout up until she had crossed the room and kissed it away. "You're both wonderful," she said once his smile was firmly back in place.

"Just serving our Lady as best we can," he murmured back.


	42. (Update Summary)

19/01/2020 - Went back and added Chapter 7: Watcher, Chapter 8: The Ruined Temple, and Chapter 9: Faith and Forgiveness

17/02/2020 - Went back and added Chapter 22: Concerns. Also added Chapter 25: Raedric, and Chapter 26: Comfort

27/02/2020 - Added Chapter 27: Hollowborn

29/02/2020 - Added Chapter 28: A Haven from the Dark

05/03/2020 - Added Chapter 29: A Thoughtful Gift

12/03/2020 - Added Chapter 30: A Family In Need

13/04/2020 - Added Chapter 31: A Growing Community

25/04/2020 - Added Chapter 32: Getting Worse

11/05/2020 - Added Chapter 33: Setting Out

28/05/2020 - Added Chapter 34: The Defiant City

08/06/2020 - Added Chapter 35: The Sanitarium

15/06/2020 - Added Chapter 36: An Animancer's Insight

22/06/2020 - Added Chapter 37: A Small Indulgence

29/06/2020 - Added Chapter 38: A Big Disappointment

20/07/2020 - Added Chapter 39: Hangover Cure

17/08/2020 - Went back and added Chapter 12: Caed Nua

14/09/2020 - Went back and added Chapter 13: The Dangers Below

21/09/2020 - Went back and added Chapter 14: Maerwald

11/11/2020 - Added Chapter 41: The Markets

**Author's Note:**

> This is an ongoing project, the chapters for which might be published out of order. I prefer writing sections as they come to me over forcing the story out chronologically. I also like to come back and tinker with old works, so expect tweaks here and there over time.


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